One thing I can't say
by naTALAya
Summary: *FINISHED* im sorry bowt the ending but i had to do it=)..you wanted to say something to someone....but never had the strength to say it...and you thought that you're over that guy because you've had your usual boyrfriends...but you realized
1. The New Guy

* Author's disclaimer: ei guys! Of course, I don't own characters of Hey Arnold blah blah..but I added some of my own as well. Keep your R&R's comin!  
  
CHAPTER 1: The new guy  
  
" Bye dad! Bye mom!" Helga Pataki yelled just before she opened the door.  
  
" What time are you coming home dear?" Her mom yelled from the kitchen.  
  
"uhh..I don't know! I'm not coming home for dinner, I guess!" Helga yelled as she opened the front door, and went down the steps towards the side walk, where her bestfriend for almost 10 years was waiting for her.  
  
"Sorry to keep you waiting Pheebs" Helga said. Helga was 18 years old, in her senior year at 118 High. She and her bestfriend walked silently down the sidewalk. She smiled at herself. Both of them have been doing the exact same thing since they were nine. It's funny that they never got tired of doing it. Helga smiled to herself remembering the way she looked back when she was at least 10. Her blond broomstick hair that was always tied up in pigtails and her favorite pink jumper dress, that she almost wore everyday. She remembered Phoebe, wearing her short blue dress, with her short ebony black hair and glasses. Her head, almost always stuck in a book.  
  
But unlike those things, some things never change.. Helga, with her wavy long blond hair, two perfectly plucked eyebrows, long eye lashes, and sea- blue eyes, with a height of 5"8, and a body of a woman, tall and slender, has turned from a little rascal to a fine young woman. Phoebe looked ravishing as well. Her smooth, long, black ebony hair went passed her shoulders now. Her round glasses were replaced with clear contact lenses that revealed her chinky black eyes. A little smaller than Helga, her body has developed from a frail thin girl to young woman with a body of a dancer.  
  
" What are you smiling about Helga?" Her bestfriend asked, interrupting her thoughts.  
  
" Oh nothing." Helga replied as she smiled to herself again.  
  
" You're not thinking about Arnold are you?"  
  
" I'm telling you Helga..no, okay!? I've had it with daydreaming about him."  
  
" Helga, you told me that last time already."  
  
" I'm sorry Pheebs. It's just that every time he's there.there again goes my heart and my whole body! I mean he makes me turn into jelly or something. God, that football headed guy!" Phoebe laughed at the humorous lamenting that her bestfriend was doing. " Helga, you've had a crush on Arnold since you were ten, and you never.not even once tried telling him!"  
  
" Hey! I've got a reputation to uphold! I may not look like the punk ass I once was.but I'm a tough girl. I don't want him thinking that he can get me that easily."  
  
" Yeah right Helga! Believe me, if ever and whenever Arnold starts making his moves, I swear to God you'll turn gaga over him!"  
  
Helga laughed at the thought. " I promise Pheebs I won't! besides that's never going to happen! I mean look at him! He's this tall popular basketball player, and I'm.what?!"  
  
" You're the obsessed girl with a statue of Arnold made up of all the bubblegum that he's chewed upon!" Helga pointed out.  
  
" Oh geeezz, Pheebs! Don't remind me." Helga said as she playfully slapped Phoebe's shoulder.  
  
-*-  
  
After awhile, they reached 118 High. They saw the rest of the gang seated on the school's front steps. Arnold sat high on the staircase railing wearing his red and white basketball jersey, and a basketball locked between his hip and his right arm. With his blond hair, being covered by his blue cap which went on backwards, and dark brown eyes, he smiled at the both of them as they came nearer.  
  
" Hey you guys! What took you so long?!"  
  
Helga blushed as she saw Arnold, and tried to dismiss it away but holding up her books on her face.  
  
" Hey, it wasn't me, ask Helga." Phoebe answered back as she went up to her boyfriend Gerald, who was leaning on the railing, and gave him a kiss on the cheek.  
  
" What's it to you football head? I wanted to take my time, besides I'm sure you're not waiting for me anyway!"  
  
" Ooohhhh. feisty!" Harold remarked. He was different now, unlike back then when his stomach would always be sticking out. He toned down a little. He was a member of the wrestling varsity. With this brown hair, and perfect white teeth, he still had his chubby feature but most girls still fell for him.  
  
" How do you know I'm not waiting for you?" Arnold snapped back.  
  
" Because you've been ogling at Lila ever since we were in fifth grade, and I doubt it you're over her by now! Oh yeah, and not to mention you're ex-girlfriend Ruth!" Helga snorted as she plumped herself on one of the steps.  
  
" Okay, here we go again!" Rhonda said as she rolled her eyes. She's been hearing the same old thing since sixth grade.  
  
" Don't you ever get tired of attacking Arnold, Helga?" Eugene asked. Eugene's red curly hair was shorter now. It now looked neat compared to what he looked like back again. His cheeks were red with his freckles, and his body was lean and yet sturdy. He was an officer in his school's dance club and on the way to being elected as president of their club. He was so talented in dancing he's learned almost all kinds.  
  
" No! Besides even if I did stop I don't think you'd care!" Helga snapped back.  
  
" And why would you think that?" Arnold asked, raising one eyebrow at Helga.  
  
" Well, for the nth time football head, you go gaga over that Lila girl." the moment Helga mentioned Lila's name, Lila turned in around the corner, with her long brown auburn hair that went past her shoulders, and her short black skirt swaying with her curvy hips. Arnold's eyes widened as Lila gave her sweet smile.  
  
" You see what I mean!" Helga exclaimed with disbelief, when she realized that Arnold wasn't paying attention to the word she was saying. The gang looked at her and gave a we-can't-do-anything-about-it shrug.  
  
" That's it! I can't take this anymore, I'm going to homeroom, I don't want to be late. Come with me Phoebe." Helga said as she stomped off, towards the main entrance of 118 High.  
  
" Okay Helga, whatever you say." Phoebe said as she followed Helga, tugging Gerald along.  
  
" See you at homeroom guys." Gerald said as he waved at his friends.  
  
-*-  
  
" Goodmorning everyone." Mr. Simmons greeted, as one by one students came walking in at the sound of the bell. He was 40 now, with his hair slightly growing bald. "Class, there's some I'd like you to meet. I know it's the start of your senior years and you all know each other very well. We have a new student and I hope you'll make him feel welcome. As you all know with every new student, I always assign someone to make him or her feel at home, and this time, since the new student is a basketball player and wants to join in our team, it's you Arnold that I'm assigning. I hope you'll make him feel welcome"  
  
Arnold replied with a nod.  
  
" Okay, well, let's not keep him waiting. Class, I would like you to meet Derek Peterson. Please come in Derek,"  
  
In came a tall young man. Tan colored, with dark brown hair, and hazel eyes, he was well built and he came in half confident half shy.  
  
Hmm.another cute basketball player I suppose Helga thought to herself as she smiled at the handsome young man. The new guy smiled back and that made Helga's cheeks hot.  
  
" Hi.I'm Derek Peterson.oh call me Derek. I come from L.A. and I moved here this summer to start a new life here. My dad bought the mall at 23rd street so my whole family's moving here..and I guess that's it.." Derek said as he gave a small introduction in front of the class.  
  
Helga turned towards her left and gave Rhonda a this-guy-is-cute look. Rhonda smiled back agreeing and thinking of the exact same thing.  
  
" Well, any questions?" Mr. Simmons asked.  
  
" You planning on trying out for the school varsity?" Arnold asked.  
  
" Well, as a matter of fact I am, and I do hope you guys would accept me because I believe I can contribute a lot to this team." Derek said casually.  
  
" You think so?" Arnold smirked.  
  
Derek nodded confidently.  
  
This guy's got a lot of nerve challenging Arnold. Hmmmm confident.and cute.what a good combination. Helga thought to herself as she gazed satisfyingly at the probably most interesting guy she has ever met. That was next to Arnold of course.  
  
" Just wondering, got any attachments you've let behind that L.A. of yours?" Rhonda asked.  
  
" Attachments?" Derek replied.  
  
"Girlfriends, duh?!" Rhonda exclaimed.  
  
" Why Rhonda? Wanna try for the spot? I doubt it!" Sid exclaimed as he laughed hysterically at his own remark. The class erupted in laughter.  
  
Derek shook his head. " Nope have none of those, if you really want to know. I used to have one.but I don't want to talk about the details.let's just say I've got other stuff to do besides having a girlfriend. But hey.who knows, I might find someone here." Derek said. The moment he did, he glanced over at Helga.  
  
Helga was caught unaware by his melting glance that she rolled her eyes to avoid the blush that was surfacing on her cheeks. What a totally big head case! The nerve of that guyI Who does he think he is, looking like all that?! Helga thought to herself, as if she seemed to be convincing herself of something that was about to happen. 


	2. The sudden kiss

Chapter 2: The Sudden Kiss  
  
" I swear Phoebe, that new guy is trying to get on my nerves!" Helga said as she reached for the spaghetti that she ordered over the counter. It has already been a week since that new guy arrived. Ever since, Derek has been the total head turner of the crowd. What irritated Helga most was that Derek was loving every single minute of his fame. She glance another look at the pool of girls swarming over Derek.  
  
" Did you see that?! I swear talking to him and making his head bigger than it already is, is the last thing that I'll ever do!" Helga said irritatingly as she and Phoebe went over to a table in the middle of the cafeteria.  
  
Sooner, she was joined by Rhonda and Nadine, who just came out of the crowd that was swarming over Derek.  
  
" You wouldn't believe that guy is a total angel!" Rhonda said as she sat next to Phoebe. Helga rolled her eyes and went continuing with her eating. " Can you believe it that he's offering us a ride home?!" Rhonda said as both she and Nadine shouted in excitement.  
  
" What do you need a ride home for? You're house is just a few blocks away." Helga scoffed at her friend's news.  
  
"Well, sweetie, in case you've just been back from your trip to mars, his car is a red brand new jaguar that he bought with his own money!"  
  
" It's not just riding any car, it's a riding in a hot car with a very hot guy!" Nadine added.  
  
" That's it!? You're going head over heels over that!? You girls sound like you wanna be in his music video or something!"  
  
" If he has one, I'm sure he'll chose us over you!" Rhonda retorted. "Why do you hate him so much anyway?! He hasn't done anything to you at all!"  
  
" The mere fact that he graces me with his presence everyday is enough to make me puke!"  
  
" I think you're just jealous coz he's not paying attention to you!" Nadine snapped back.  
  
" Jealous?! I'd rather be with that football headed freak than be with him!"  
  
" Well, you better tell that to Arnold coz here they come right now…" Phoebe answered timidly.  
  
" Hey Pheebs, sorry to keep you waiting. We've been showing Derek around and every time we start walking, the girls just keep on comin!" Gerald grinned as he grabbed a seat and placed it behind the seat of his girlfriend.  
  
" Hey guys, Derek's gonna sit with us… you don't mind do you?" Arnold asked.  
  
" Oh no, it's alright really!" Rhonda exclaimed as she made some room for Derek and Arnold.  
  
Ugh! Helga thought to herself.  
  
" So, Derek, how's your first week in school?" Harold said as he later joined in with the rest of the gang.  
  
" Well, actually everything's going well. I can't believe every one's so friendly here. I really must thank you guys for making me feel at home. I mean everyone's smiling at me and saying hi."  
  
He's just been here for one week, and he already thinks he's Mr. Popular! Helga scowled in between her chewing.  
  
" Really Derek, it was a pleasure for all of us." Nadine said.  
  
It wasn't long before Arnold noticed that Helga was acting strangely. It was the first time that he's seen Helga not actually saying anything, not even a word. She didn't even bother to look up at him and say something like football head. Arnold kept glancing at Helga trying to find out what's wrong. He knew that somehow it had something to do with Derek.  
  
" Helga, how come you're not saying anything? Don't you like to say something to Derek?" Arnold suddenly asked.  
  
Thanks a lot foot ball head! Helga thought to herself, mentally trying to choke Arnold.  
  
" No thank you, I'd rather keep my mouth shut or else I might vomit. The air's getting pretty stuffy here lately." Helga said sarcastically as she stood up and started fixing her tray.  
  
" Where are you going, Helga? " Phoebe asked.  
  
" Somewhere where it's not too crowded." Helga replied with a blank expression, trying to keep her irritated feelings inside, as she went out of the cafeteria.  
  
" What's eating her?" Harold asked as he watched Helga storm of.  
  
-*-  
  
" Do I really have to go with you Pheebs?! " Helga exclaimed for the nth time.  
  
" Come on, Helga! You know I need you!"  
  
" But you've got Gerald ok!"  
  
" Yeah, but I don't want to be waiting for him alone! I'm not used to being surrounded by so many guys!" Phoebe said.  
  
" Pheebs! You've been surrounded by so many guys since kindergarten! For crying out loud, they're your classmates! What's the fuss?!"  
  
" Please Pheebs….I know this is not the first time I'm asking you to do this…and this certainly won't be the last….please…."  
  
" Oh alright Pheebs!"  
  
" Besides Arnold's there." Phoebe said smiling to herself as she was able to convince her bestfriend to accompany her in waiting for the end of the varsity team's training that afternoon.  
  
-*-  
  
The best of friends peeped inside through the door of the entrance to the gym. Phoebe pushed the door and walked in as Helga reluctantly followed her. As they entered the basketball team stopped at the sound of the thud as Helga closed the gym door. Helga was shocked to have so many guys looking at her. She hurriedly ran and followed her bestfriend who was leaving her way behind on the way to the bleachers.  
  
From where they were standing, Arnold nudged Gerald.  
  
" Your girl's here." Arnold said.  
  
" Yup, I know. You ever found out what's eating Helga? I know she's always mad with everyone around her…but she seems a little peculiar doesn't she?" Gerald said as he tied his shoelaces.  
  
" Nope, haven't found that out…." Arnold said in between pants as he rested on the bench. "I've had enough for today. You okay, Derek?"  
  
" Yup, never felt better. Thanks you guys for letting me in the team." Derek said as he sat next to Arnold, wiping his forehead with his white towel. He looked up towards the bleachers and saw Phoebe and Helga.  
  
" Hey, isn't that Phoebe and….uhh…Helga?" Derek said nudging Arnold on the shoulder, as he continued to observe the blond girl beside Phoebe.  
  
" Yup, it's them alright."  
  
" I'm wondering….is she really shy or aloof?…coz she hasn't spoken to me…not even one single word…." Derek said leaving his voice trailing.  
  
Gerald and Arnold looked at each other as if knowing the answer to the question that's been bugging them for a long time.  
  
-*-  
  
" What's been taking you so long?!" Helga exclaimed , after a long time of waiting, as she finally saw Gerald and Arnold coming out of the men's locker room.  
  
" What's the rush?" Arnold asked.  
  
" Well, in case you haven't noticed, it's already getting dark. I have to be home by dinner you know."  
  
" Aren't you coming with us? We're eating out." Gerald suggested.  
  
"Yeah, Helga, I'm sure you're mom will be alright with it." Phoebe said.  
  
" Of course, she would but I'm not. I just want to go home, ok?"  
  
" You sure?…" Arnold asked.  
  
Since when did you care? Helga thought to herself  
  
" I'm sure Arnold, thanks anyway." Helga said as she slowly walked away from the her three friends.  
  
When Helga was out of ear shot, the three of them looked at each other.  
  
" Did she just say thanks?" Arnold asked them. All of them were bewildered and amused on what Helga just said.  
  
" It's the new guy alright. That's what's bugging her." Phoebe said.  
  
" I told you Arnold."  
  
' Yeah, but the thing I don't get is ….why?" Arnold asked.  
  
-*-  
  
The night was getting colder, and the moon now shines above the streets. Helga tighted her grip around her black leather jacket. Her blond hair swayed with the wind as it blew past her. The moment she left her three friends and started walking past houses, buildings, and stores, towards her house, there has only been one thing on her mind, and it was Derek.  
  
She couldn't understand what she was feeling inside her. All she knew was that she was so irritated that with the new guy. She didn't know why… maybe because strangely she feels something for him and she couldn't find a way even just to talk to him. She was always used to this tough girl attitude and now that she's starting to like someone other than Arnold, she doesn't know what to say. The sound of a car horn interrupted her thoughts as she turned around and was blinded by the car's headlights.  
  
" What the hell!?" Helga exclaimed as she tried to recover her vision from the glaring light. The lights disappeared and the sound of the car engine filled the air. She peered as she tried to see who was in the car. By that time, clouds were slowly covering the moon.  
  
" What are you doing out here?" A familiar voice of a guy asked.  
  
" Who the hell are…..Derek? Is that you?" Helga asked in disbelief to find the new popular guy right standing right in front of her.  
  
" Yeah, who else could it be? What are you doing walking alone at night? Didn't you go with your friends?"  
  
" What do you care anyway? Besides I feel like walking home so why don't you just go?!" Helga said turning on her heel and started walking.  
  
Derek ran towards his car and ran it along with Helga's walking pace. " Nope, no can do. I'm not going to leave you at night. Who knows, there might be crazy fools around here! Who knows what might happen to you?!" Derek reasoned out.  
  
" In case you didn't know, I've lived in this neighborhood my whole life and I don't think there aren't any crazy fools here…well…except for you I guess."  
  
" Whatever you say Helga? Listen, I'm not gonna leave you until you get into the car."  
  
" You think I'm riding on that?! No way! I wouldn't be caught dead in a jaguar! I've seen much better cars! Besides, where are you taking me anyway?!"  
  
" To your house! Where else?!"  
  
" Oh…right…well, you don't even know where I live!?! For all you know I might be livin somewhere in Nebraska!?"  
  
" Right is Nebraska what you call the house that's on # 408 Bridgetown Street?"  
  
" You know where I live?! Hey, you're freaking me out here so might as well leave or I'll call the cops!" Helga said.  
  
" Yeah sure and I'm going to tell them that I live just right in front of you. Gee…I wonder how long am I going to stay in jail for telling them that?"  
  
Helga slowly was fuming up. She couldn't stand the guy any longer. She wanted to go and wreck his car's windshield or slap him. Strangely, she knew she was being teased but at the same time…she was sort of liking the way the conversation was running. After a few seconds, drops of water slowly started coming down from the sky. As she looked up, she saw dark gray clouds hovering over them.  
  
" Well, I guess you have no choice, unless you want to end up with a flu…." Derek said clicking on a button that made the top of his car come up.  
  
" Oh alright! Straight home okay?!"  
  
" No problem."  
  
-*-  
  
Helga went out of Derek's car, as the rain finally stopped. Derek went out as well and accompanied Helga as both walked to the front door.  
  
" Uh, thanks again Derek. Sorry if I acted like such a complete bitch"  
  
" Hey, I don't mind. Besides, it was a pleasure giving you that ride home."  
  
" Hey you forced me ok?!" Helga said starting to act fierce again.  
  
" Alright girl, alright." Derek chuckled amused at Helga's weird temper.  
  
" Sorry…well thanks." Helga said as she quickly kissed Derek on the cheek and went in. As soon as she realized what she did, she opened the door and faced Derek who was still standing there, bewildered and yet amused at what Helga did.  
  
" Hey! Don't ever tell anyone in school I did that! okay! Do you understand?! Or else this will come in flying at your face!" Helga said showing her fist.  
  
" Alright alright!" Derek said holding his hands up.  
  
" Ok. See ya!" Helga said as she slammed the door, thinking to herself I can't believe I just did that.  
  
Derek remained standing at outside Helga's house. He used to girls flirting with him and all that…but he never imagined it to becoming from a girl who had a reputation of being a bully, and a girl who acted so tough. He smiled at the thought imagining the fiery light that was burning in Helga's eyes whenever she got infuriated with his remarks. He shook his head and walked across the street towards his house. 


	3. Realizations

* thanks for the reviews you guys! And the corrections as well! Hope you like it…I'm going to add a few chapters soon!  
  
" Uh, Arnold?" Derek said. They were in the middle of basketball training. Derek, Gerald, and Arnold were taking turns in throwing shots.  
  
" Yes?" Arnold asked as he paused for awhile to reply and then threw a perfect shot that made the ball went straight in the net, without even touching the ring. Derek got the ball and through it at Gerald who was waiting for his turn at the ring.  
  
" Well, can I ask you a personal question?" Derek asked, as he watched Gerald do a three-pointer.  
  
" Sure." Arnold replied throwing the ball that he just caught under the ring, to Derek.  
  
" It's about Helga…" Derek said as he made a shot from the free throw line that went straight in the net. Arnold and Gerald exchanged questioning glances. Gerald caught the ball and threw it at Arnold.  
  
" Yeeaaahhh….what about her?" Arnold said preparing his stance, as he prepared to shoot the ball.  
  
" Are you and Helga together?" Derek said as soon as Arnold threw the ball in the air. Arnold was so startled by the question that he missed the shot, as the ball went straight to Gerald's head.  
  
" OUCH!" Gerald said rubbing his scalp.  
  
" Sorry pal, what did you say again?!" Arnold exclaimed not even looking the least bit sorry at what he did to Gerald.  
  
" What I mean to say is….does Helga have a boyfriend right now?…." Derek asked slowly, as he looked hopefully at what his newfound friends had to say.  
  
" Wait a minute…you're asking if Helga has a boyfriend?" Gerald asked trying to hide his laughter. After awhile he and Arnold couldn't control it any longer, both of them went laughing hysterically that they almost rolled on the basketball court.  
  
Derek gave both of them a questioning look, wondering what the hell did he say wrong.  
  
" You're talking about Helga Pataki, right?" Arnold clarified.  
  
Derek nodded.  
  
" Pal, don't you know? Helga's one of the toughest girls in her. She may look like all that but nobody not even one, dares to ask her for a date." Gerald said shaking his head.  
  
" Not even one?" Derek asked.  
  
" Not even one. Derek, they're too scared! Helga might punch them or something once they make a wrong move. Helga could make any man cry!" Arnold said.  
  
" Yeah, Arnold's talking from experience right there!" Gerald said laughing all the more.  
  
" Hey, I didn't cry, Gerald!" Arnold pointed out.  
  
" So…in other words…she's never had a boyfriend?" Derek asked again.  
  
" Hell NO!" Arnold exclaimed.  
  
" I swear if ever a guy would dare to be one…I'd spend every weekend praying for that poor guy." Gerald said.  
  
The laughter paused for a second. " Wait a minute….who's interested anyway?" Arnold asked. He and Gerald looked at Derek questioningly.  
  
" What?!" Derek asked.  
  
" Dude, don't tell me…." Gerald said as he left his own sentence hanging.  
  
" No way….are you…..no way…." Arnold said, shaking his head in disbelief, when he realized that Derek's reaction looked like he was serious.  
  
" You like her don't you?" Gerald asked.  
  
" Well, I'm not yet sure…I just find her interesting and challenging….and I was wondering if you guys could help me…since you're her closest friends…"  
  
Arnold just kept silent. Gerald, not knowing what to say, looked at him then at Derek.  
  
He took a deep breath and said, " Look, even if we help you, there is no guarantee that Helga's going to like you…and I doubt it if she'll even want to look at you coz she maybe have other prospects…." Arnold said.  
  
" Helga has a crush on someone else!?" Derek exclaimed.  
  
" We don't know! Helga can be very secretive you know…so it's not a promise…" Gerald said.  
  
" It's okay, I just need to know her better….I hope you guys could help me." Derek said looking at Gerald, then at Arnold.  
  
" All right pal…whatever you say…" Arnold answered.  
  
-*-  
  
It was lunchtime the next day and the cafeteria was packed. Helga was trying to look for the gang but all she can see were heads of students. With her lunch tray, she swerved left and right, ducking and tiptoeing in the crowd.  
  
Where the hell are they? Helga asked herself.  
  
" OUCH! What the?!" Helga said as she swirled around and turned to see who the idiotic person was that stepped on her foot.  
  
" I'm sorry…Helga!" Derek said realizing that he accidentally stepped on Helga's foot.  
  
" Oh, it's you.." Helga said as she put her tray down on the floor and rubbed her sore foot.  
  
" I'm sorry, I was looking for you guys…and I guess…"  
  
" Yeah, yeah, you were too busy to notice that you stepped on me…it's okay Derek. I'm looking for them too." Helga said as she got up.  
  
" No luck too, huh? What?….Why are you looking at me like that?" Derek said noticing the smirk that was surfacing on Helga's face.  
  
" Well, that's funny, you don't have your fans club around you.." Helga shrugged  
  
"Hahaha, very funny. Was that the reason you didn't say a word to me that time?"  
  
" Are you implying that I was jealous?!" Helga glared.  
  
" No! You were the one who said that! Then tell me, why weren't you talking to me before? Why only now?!" Derek asked. They were both standing in the middle of a crowd of moving students, trying to find tables.  
  
" Well, geee Derek…I'm not really sure. I guess the reason why I didn't want to talk to you back then was because I didn't know how to approach you with all those girls swarming around you….I don't want to make your head bigger than it already is! And the reason why I wanted to talk to you was because….hey maybe I could give you a break…maybe you're not so bad after all!….but no! I guess I was wrong…you're a complete big head case!" Helga said storming off. Luckily, she found where the gang was seated as she put her tray beside Sid.  
  
Derek followed her right away. " Look, Helga…." When he arrived at the table, everyone was trying to give him a don't-touch-her-when-she's- angry look, that made him stop talking and reluctantly sat beside Arnold who was seated across the table.  
  
" What happened, man?" Gerald whispered in Derek's ear.  
  
Derek sadly shook his head as he made a glance at Helga, who was looking down on her plate silently eating.  
  
The tension surfacing was broken by a melodious greeting that came somewhere behind Helga. It was Lila who came in with her usual jolly self, with her ponytail swaying with her walk. Arnold's eyes went wide at the sight of her.  
  
" Hey you guys! Would you ever so mind if I join you for lunch?" Lila said as she smiled sweetly and in return the gang just gave shrugs.  
  
Arnold, on the other hand, stood up and smiled at Lila. " Here lila, you can have my seat."  
  
Lila went over and gave a small kiss on Arnold's cheek. " Thanks ever so much Arnold. That's very sweet of you." Lila said as she sat down and noticed the new guy that was glumly eating his meal.  
  
" And who might you be, mister?" Lila asked sweetly.  
  
" Uh, Lila I would like you to meet Derek, Derek…Lila" Arnold said introducing them to each other.  
  
Derek looked at Lila and smiled reluctantly in reply.  
  
" Oh….you're the new guy! Right, everyone says you're so nice! You must feel lucky almost every girl around here want s to get date with you!" Lila exclaimed.  
  
" Yeah right, all except one!" Helga snorted as she got up with her tray and stormed off.  
  
Everyone looked at her wondering what again had happened. Lila looked at Arnold helplessly, wondering to herself if she had done anything wrong.  
  
" Now, that's the second time that that has happened….for the same reason…" Nadine whispered in Rhonda's ear.  
  
" You got that right…" Rhonda answered.  
  
-*-  
  
" What's bothering you, Helga?" Phoebe asked her bestfriend. Both of them were walking in the park, that Sunday afternoon. It was nearing dusk now and the sky was turning from orange to a purple tint.  
  
" I told you Pheebs, I'm fine…" Helga said her voice trailing. She has been walking in a trance, absentmindedly-answering Phoebe at the same time thinking about Derek.  
  
" Helga, up to now, you still think you can get away with me by hiding what you feel? Come on spill it! There must be some reason why your blood's boiling up every time you even see or hear about Derek.! What gives? I mean the last time that I saw you in the state was when you were denying that you actually liked Arnold!" Phoebe analyzed.  
  
" Look Phoebe…really I'm fine. Derek's just a big jerk that's all! He always thinks he's so great! And you know I don't like people like that! You know I get easily irritated…and that's all…really. As for Arnold, he's the only guy I like right now…even if he does like Lila…falling for someone else is the last thing that I'll ever consider doing!'  
  
" Even falling for someone like Derek?!"  
  
" What Phoebe?! No! I don't like him!"  
  
" Trust me Helga…it looks so much like you do! Besides, he's not so bad? What's not to like? He's gorgeous, nice, rich, and he can be a total gentleman if he wants to?! I mean….I really doubt it…if you don't even have a single drop of feeling for this guy."  
  
" Eeww…Phoebe! No way!" Helga said shuddering at the thought of falling for Derek.  
  
" Whatever you say Helga…But you do know who turn to, once you've sorted your feelings out, right? On my opinion, I think the reason why you're keeping yourself distant and cold is because you don't want to end up falling hopelessly again for another guy that you can't have…possibly for another Arnold the 2nd…you're trying to avoid the risk of hurting again…."  
  
" Stop it Phoebe…I don't want to hear that…listen, it's getting dark my parents are probably waiting for me. I told them I'll be home for dinner. See ya tomorrow alright?" Helga said.  
  
" Sure thing Helga."  
  
"Thanks Phoebe…you're the bestest friend one could ever have." Helga said as she gave her bestfriend a hug, and walked home.  
  
-*-  
  
There is no way am I admitting that I'm starting to like that head case! Helga told herself as she walked towards her house. She has been thinking over and over again. Again, her bestfriend was always right. No matter how she looked at it…she probably has feelings for the guy.  
  
" But there is no way, I'm going to admit that!" Helga said out loud, on the sidewalk.  
  
" Admit what?" a voice behind her said. She swirled around and found Derek standing there.  
  
" Have you been following me!?" Helga exclaimed.  
  
" Hey! Woah! Don't get me wrong ok! I just happened to come out of Arnold's place when you happen to be walking right in front of me! Geez Helga, you have to stop being like that!"  
  
" And you have to stop to listening to someone else's thinking! And you have to stop meeting me like that! You always happen to drop by! You came up to me on the sidewalk. You stepped on my foot at the cafeteria! Now this, you happen to accidentally be walking behind me!"  
  
" You think I did those on purpose!?"  
  
" No! I think you're starting to irritate me again!"  
  
" Hey, that's why it's called an accident ok! I never meant for it to happen!"  
  
" So now, you're regretting that you're talking to me, is that it?"  
  
" No! Did I say that? You're putting words into my mouth, Helga!"  
  
" Now, it's my fault! Great! Are you going to walk me home again?! Coz if you are I'd rather not…" Helga said.  
  
" Wait a minute, Helga." Derek said stepping right in front of Helga, blocking her path.  
  
" WHAT?! You're not satisfied with irritating me already?!" Helga said glaring at him right in the eye.  
  
" Helga….." Derek said looking down. Helga saw and realized how rough she might've been so she let her guard down a little. She began to look at him with concern. I must've really got to the poor guy's heart. Helga thought to herself.  
  
Derek looked up and said, " Listen…I now sometimes….I come a bit too fresh…."  
  
"Well, you got that right." Helga smirked.  
  
" And….I know that you don't seem to like me that much…I guesss?"  
  
" Well, you could've guess a lot better!"  
  
" I'm sorry okay!" Derek said as he looked straight into Helga's eyes. Helga was startled by the sincere gaze Derek was bestowing on her that she quickly looked away.  
  
" Hey, don't get too mushy on me pal! I'm ok. Ok? No harm done…I mean you did piss me off a bit…but who cares? I'm ok. Really." Helga said.  
  
"Really?…." Derek asked, his eyes more hopeful. Ok now, this I can't handle! His eyes are so…enchanting! Helga said to herself.  
  
" Yeah Really, before I change my mind!" Helga said. She let out a soft chuckle.  
  
" You laughed….you smiled!" Derek said lightening up.  
  
" Yeah, ok….now we humans have the capacity do that you know…" Helga said wondering at Derek's sudden change of moods.  
  
" Well, I've never seen you smile and I've never head you laugh before! Do it again?"  
  
" Do what…?" Helga said as the her lips began to form a smile, wondering at the same time what Derek was driving at.  
  
" See…I see it…it's forming again…"  
  
" Derek! Stop it ok! You're making me conscious!" Helga said trying to not look at Derek.  
  
" There! Now I see it! You have that pretty smiled on your face again!" Derek said satisfyingly.  
  
" You really think so…I mean you're not just sugar coating me are you?…coz if you are I swear….that's the last time you'll do it…!" Helga said forming a worried look on her face.  
  
" No Helga…believe me, you have the most amazing smile on earth." Derek said looking lovingly at Helga.  
  
Helga looked down realizing that her cheeks were blushing.  
  
" Whew ok, uh….it's really getting dark I must be home by now…my parents are expecting and I ….I need to leave…so see ya!" Helga said avoiding Derek as she started to walk again.  
  
Derek ran up to her side. "Helga….?"  
  
" What?"  
  
" I live just across the street…there's no need for you to say 'see ya' or something." Derek said grinning at Helga, as she realized that Derek was right.  
  
" Oh alright." Helga said looking down, trying to hide the embarrassed smile on her face. 


	4. Changes due to realizations

Chapter 4: Changes due to realizations.  
  
It has been two weeks now, since that night that Helga finally realized that she has had a change of heart. She and Derek have been getting pretty close lately, and rumors were starting to spread that she and Derek are soon to be 118 High's newest couple. Both of them knew about it but just shrugged and let themselves discover new things about each other. Each day their friendship becomes stronger and stronger as they learn each other's problems and as they found themselves enjoying each other's company. Although both had sort of feelings for each other, neither of them wanted to admit it. Somehow, they knew what each had to hide but for now…they were satisfied with the friendship they were having.  
  
Helga was walking one Saturday afternoon around the village. Most of the gang had their own family affairs to go to so she decided to walk by her village alone. She thought about Derek for awhile and a smile began to surface. She was having so much fun with Derek around. With Derek, she could usually be herself. She could be the loud-mouthed tough girl that she usually was…and she didn't have to be ashamed of it. She so deep in thought that she nearly jumped when someone spoke from her left side.  
  
" What's with mush smile, Helga?" Helga gasped as she looked at her left and saw Arnold standing there.  
  
" De…ARNOLD?! Do you have do that too?!" Helga said.  
  
" Sorry! What do you mean 'too'?" Arnold grinned as he and Helga started walking.  
  
" Well, Derek does that to me all the time! He always comes up unannounced, so I thought you were Derek…although for one second, I didn't think you were Derek, because I know he's with his family…and…"  
  
" Wait a minute! You thought I was Derek? That's a new one. What's with all this Derek talk by the way? Tell me, Helga…do you and Derek have a thing for each other?"  
  
" What?! Where did that come from? You'd actually want to believe in those rumors do you?" Helga shook her in disbelief.  
  
" Well, for one thing, most of the girls in school are so jealous because they can't seem to be with Derek anymore, since you're around….and well…. I mean don't you? You're practically with him 24/7! You don't even hang out after school with us anymore! You always go with him. Where do you even go anyway?!" Arnold asked.  
  
Helga raised one eyebrow at Arnold, wondering why did he have to make a fuss about it. Helga shook her head and smiled.  
  
" See! There's that smile again….for one thing, you usually don't smile Helga….and that smile of yours means something!"  
  
" Do I have so sound like such a scrooge?! I smile…because….for the same reason…that ….."  
  
" Because of what?"  
  
" Because of probably the same reason you smile when you see Lila!"  
  
" SO! YOU DO LIKE THE GUY?!" Arnold exclaimed.  
  
" Hey, I never said that ok! I mean he does make me smile but that doesn't mean anything!"  
  
" Oh, stop playing games with me, Helga. I've known you since preschool!"  
  
If you knew me so well, Arnold, you'd probably find out by now, how much I've fallen for you! Helga thought to herself.  
  
" How is Lila anyway?" Helga suddenly asked after a long silent pause.  
  
" What?" Arnold asked stunned by the question.  
  
" How's Lila? I mean I'm not that dumb too, Arnold. I see that you're with her more than usual. What gives?" Helga held her breathe trying to hold on to her emotions.  
  
" Well, actually…I think she likes me too…I don't know…I mean, it seems…that…well…we're more than ok…we're getting pretty close…we talk on the phone every night and we sometimes go out on Saturday's…so I guess…I mean, hey, it could happen right?"  
  
Helga winced a little…but after awhile, she smiled. This is the first time that I'm not jealous because of Lila…Helga thought to herself.  
  
" Well, I guess Arnold you've finally had your wish…that's great! ….and I'm happy for you." Helga smiled holding out her hand. Arnold was sort of stunned with Helga's reaction and shook her hand in return.  
  
That's funny…I was expecting something else rather than being too happy for me…Arnold thought.  
  
" Well, Helga, thanks…I really appreciate it…" Arnold said as his voice trailed. He was trying to sort out what was happening to himself.  
  
" Well, gee Arnold, I know that but I guess you could've sounded a little more appreciative!" Helga said rolling her eyes.  
  
" What?…Oh, I'm sorry….I mean I expected you to say something else…"  
  
" Like what?! Like cry or something! Arnold, you know I'm not that mushy!" Helga exclaimed.  
  
"Yeah…I guess you're right…"  
  
" Well, Arnold. I'm happy you're finally getting your wish come true…and well, I guess…I'm finally getting mine." Helga smiled as both of them continued to walk in silence.  
  
Am I really getting what I wanted…maybe she's right…but why don't I feel too good about it… Arnold thought to himself.  
  
-*-  
  
" Oh hi, Lila, what are you doing here?" Helga asked as she bumped into Lila. Both of them were walking towards the gym.  
  
" Oh hi Helga! I promised Arnold I'd help him with his Physics project so I'm going to wait for him until his training ends. What about you? You waiting for Derek, right?"  
  
" Yup, we're going to walk home together…as always." Helga replied, as she tried to get hold of her books.  
  
" Oh…right…you live right across him, right?" Lila asked.  
  
" Right." Helga replied.  
  
" So, do you and Derek have a thing? Coz' rumor has it that you are..and…I just want to know…coz you guys spend more time with each other than with you're gang…so…" Lila asked slowly, as she tried to catch a glimpse of Helga's reaction to her question. Lila quickly looked at her right, and peeped through her own auburn hair, trying to look at Helga's reaction.  
  
Helga paused for awhile, thinking of a good way to answer her question. She was caught unaware of it that at first, she had no idea what to say. After a few minutes, she held her breath and started answering her question.  
  
" Lila…if you're asking me, if Derek and I are together? My answer would be no. It's true we are close since we talk all the time, and I could almost say I've known him for years…but having a thing…well, I'm not so sure about that. I'm not denying or admitting anything…it's too soon to tell." Helga replied, fully trying to hide her sort of…feelings for Derek. Although she's starting to have feelings for the guy, and she sort of probably admitted that to Arnold, it wasn't a sure thing. She didn't want anyone else to know about the tough girl turned softie just because of a guy.  
  
" Oh I see…." Lila nodded in reply.  
  
" Yup, there's nothing concrete going on or anything….but I guess, you should answer your own question…you and Arnold are finally having a thing right? Coz' really it has been his dream. He has had a crush on you for as long as I can remember and I'm finally happy that you guys are sort of getting closer….and…" Helga exclaimed.  
  
" Helga, what are you talking about? Arnold and I don't have a thing…" Lila said, astonished and wondering where Helga got all these assumptions.  
  
Helga's jaw fell and looked straight into Lila's eye. "What?"  
  
" Look, it may look like we do…but we don't. As far as I'm concerned, our friendship has maybe you can say….just turned or shifted to another level…but that's just it friendship. And well….I guess….the reason why I'm trying to know Arnold…although, this may sound unfair….I want to get to know him better…because…." Lila said pausing for a while. Helga held her breath keeping track of what Lila had to admit.  
  
Lila let out a sight. "I LIKE DEREK, HELGA." Lila let out. Helga felt as if her whole world spun. She was quickly engulfed in a mix of emotions. She almost burst out of frustration and confusion. The stupid bitch! She likes DEREK! What about Arnold?! God that poor guy!? He's gonna leave his heart on the line hoping for something that isn't really there?! I have to tell him…This is too weird! So, that's why Lila's been asking so many questions about Derek!  
  
" Helga…say something…please?" Lila said looking hopefully at Helga. " Are you mad?" Lila asked.  
  
" Wh…what? Mad? NO! I'm just…stunned that's all….I really thought that….you….Arnold…."  
  
" I'm really flattered that you told me about Arnold's secret feelings for me. I want to thank him ever so much for that….but I don't want to destroy our friendship…because it means a lot to me…that we stay…that way….as friends…."  
  
" Yeah….I ….guess….you're right….I just…." Helga said. She was too shocked about Lila's confession that she didn't quit know how to react. She wasn't sure if she should be jealous because Lila would probably be another rival or overjoyed because finally she can have Arnold all to herself.  
  
" Please don't tell Arnold….and even Derek! …I'll be the one to tell both of them…I just need time. I'm so glad that you don't like Derek because if you do, I'd be hurting you too…and I guess…I don't want to hurt anyone anymore." Lila said as she looked hopefully into Helga's eyes. They were right outside the gym. Helga couldn't stand at all what was happening. Because of this, she herself was confused between what she felt for Derek and what she felt for Arnold. Right then and there, she was mentally choking and slapping Lila for what she was making her do. She expects me to keep this as a secret?! What am I to do? Watch her throw the guy I've loved for years and then take the guy I'm supposedly falling for right now? Helga thought herself.  
  
Helga let out a sigh, as she nodded in reply, and went in the gym. 


	5. Making Moves

Chapter 5: Making Moves  
  
A hallow thud aired through the gym as Lila closed the door behind her, following Helga through the bleachers. Helga sat down and waved at Derek, who also waved back.  
  
" Why don't you just admit it, Derek!?" Gerald asked as he noticed Derek waving at Helga.  
  
" Who's that girl Helga's with?" Derek asked peering at the person beside Helga, trying to identify the familiar face, as he passively heard the question Gerald was directing at him.  
  
"That's Lila. The one I hopefully sort of have a thing with." Arnold replied.  
  
" Oh…I see, the girl, you introduced me to, at the cafeteria." Derek remembered.  
  
Arnold nodded in reply.  
  
" That was the day, Helga walked away from the table." Derek remembered along with it.  
  
" Didn't you hear me, Derek?! Why don't you just admit it?" Gerald asked for the second time.  
  
" Admit what?" Derek asked as he sat on the bench resting for a while.  
  
" That you and Helga actually have a thing for each other!" Arnold said.  
  
" You guys?! I mean….what are you talking about. Helga and I….well, Helga…is…." Derek said as he tried to answer the accusations that was laid before him. He was trying to sort things out in his head. They're right…what are we and Helga anyway…we're not really lovers…but we're not really just plain friends…?  
  
" Hey there Einstein! Finished sorting out the answers to the mysteries of the universe?!" Gerald asked sarcastically as he nudged Derek, who has been in deep thought for almost 30 seconds.  
  
" What?! ….Oh…well, no okay. Helga and I don't have a thing!" Derek said. He was about to continue when the coach started calling their attention. The coach made some reminders and finally ended the team's training.  
  
" Then, what do you have, Derek?! If you guys really don't have a thing?" Arnold asked.  
  
Derek thought for a second and finally replied, " special friendship!" Derek smiled grinning of what he thought of as a witty response.  
  
Gerald and Arnold looked at each other, with questioning looks on their faces.  
  
" Special friendship?" Gerald said as he raised an eyebrow at Derek. Derek in return nodded, happily.  
  
-*-  
  
" After ten years! I was starting to wonder what you guys were doing in there! Do you have that much dirt to clean up?!" Helga exclaimed after hours of waiting. She and Lila finally saw the guys that they've been waiting for. Both girls went towards the three guys. Lila shot a glance at Derek, who in turn did the same thing. Arnold was so oblivious to that moment that he even gave Lila a kiss on the cheek. Helga's eyes widened at the sight and immediately looked away. But she too, was oblivious to the fact that Gerald saw this, and misinterpreted the situation.  
  
" Uh, Gerald, Phoebe did tell you she can't for you tonight, right?" Helga asked as the five of them started walking outside the building.  
  
" Yup. What are you guys doing anyway? I know Lila's gonna help Arnold with his Physics project…." Gerald asked as he left his sentence unfinished.  
  
" None of your business, beeswax! We're just going straight home anyway! Aren't we Derek?" Helga asked Derek for confirmation. Derek just nodded slightly in reply. He smiled at the fiery burn in Helga's brown eyes as he watched her snap at Gerald. He grinned at the fiery temper of the girl that can only reveal her soft side to a few people. At that very moment, he felt special knowing he was one of the few people who saw the other side of Helga.  
  
Arnold noticed how Derek looked at Helga. So…I guess Derek's in love with Helga…and I guess Helga is too…wait a minute…what am I saying?! Arnold shook the thought from his head and looked at the girl that was standing beside him. Lila noticed this and smiled sweetly at Arnold. Arnold's heart almost spun for a moment there as both of them met each other's eyes. With that, Arnold realized that he maybe he has fallen in love with the girl.  
  
What the?! Why does she have to do that?! Doesn't she know he'll fall for her more?! I have to find a way to let Arnold know that Lila doesn't have a single drop of feelings for him!  
  
" Come on, Helga. There's something that I need to show you before we go home." Derek said softly tugging Helga's arm.  
  
Helga was startled that she wasn't able to reply at Derek said, and reluctantly followed him to the car park, leaving the three wondering what it was.  
  
" What do you have to show me, Derek? I'm telling you I have to be home by dinner." Helga said as he followed Derrick towards his jaguar.  
  
" Well, I'm not really showing you anything….more like I'm giving you something." Derek said as he opened the car door for Helga.  
  
As soon as Helga got in, Derek went to the opposite side and sat on the driver's seat. Closing the car door, he started the car. Before backing up, he reached for something under the car seat and sat straight up to reveal three perfectly well bloomed peach roses. Helga didn't know what to say. Her look was a mixture of disbelief and at the same time happiness.  
  
" What …what is this for…Derek?"  
  
" Well, you've really done a lot for me lately…and well, I wanted to give you something as a token of my appreciation…and I thought that since you were always Ms. Tough Girl in school…I thought that maybe you've never received flowers before…"  
  
"Well..gee…I don't know if I should take that as a compliment!"  
  
" No! I meant that in a nice way….I just wanted to give you something that's all…" Derek said looking sincerely at Helga.  
  
There he goes again with that look! So I guess…the guy does have feelings for me…and maybe this is his way of showing it…I …I guess…he's too scared to bring it out in the open…since I'm the usual tough girl that everybody's scared of…well…ok…I get you Derek…  
  
"Helga?"  
  
" What? Oh, I'm sorry! I mean really, it's nice and it's really sweet of you Derek. I just didn't think that…."  
  
" That I'd give you something like that? It's no problem Helga. It's really just to show how I appreciate your kindness…and…your company…." Derek's voice was trailing as he inched his way closer to Helga. Helga was surprisingly doing just this time. Helga's blood was rising as she felt Derek's hot breath in her face. Derek didn't know why he was doing it…all he knew was that he wanted her so much. Just as they were a millimeter away from kissing each other and Derek could almost swear he could smell the strawberry scent of Helga's lipgloss underneath his nose…Helga turned away.  
  
" Oh…look, Derek! Uh…it's getting dark…I really have to go now!" Helga grinned sheepishly trying to break the awkward moment. Derek smiled reluctantly and started backing up the car.  
  
  
  
-*-  
  
" Thanks…you're right….I get it now." Arnold said to Lila. Arnold has been typing his physics report more than an hour now, and up to that moment, he still can't stop thinking about what Derek was going to show to Helga.  
  
" Finally, Arnold! It's as simple as that and you got it just now? What are you thinking about anyway? You've been staring at the computer monitor, aimlessly typing over words that I dictate you. Do you seriously understand what you're typing there? Or am I just feeding words into your brain. Is there something bothering you Arnold?" Lila said, half irritated, half concerned. She wasn't really irritated that Arnold wasn't really paying full attention to her. She was irritated because she also was trying to keep her mind of what Derek was going to show Helga. She was trying to keep herself from getting jealous over her.  
  
" I am…ok…I am. I'm sorry, it just that… oh nothing."  
  
" I'm sorry too…." Lila said as she tried to smile sweetly at Arnold. Arnold's heart melted at the sight of her. What was I thinking? Here I am thinking about what Derek was saying…when I'm not paying full attention to the girl of my dreams. That is really stupid of you, Arnold.  
  
" Oh…I'm sorry, too." Arnold said as he softly stroked Lila's cheek. Lila's reaction softened.  
  
" I bet you're wondering what Derek got Helga, huh?" Lila asked.  
  
" Uh…yeah…I guess."  
  
" Who knows?! I've been wondering about that too…but I guess there's nothing really special about it." Lila said as she shrugged.  
  
" What do you mean?"  
  
" Well, I asked Helga about it and they said that they're just friends. So, I guess…there's nothing exactly going on."  
  
" Well, you know, Helga can deny too you know." Arnold said, wondering why did Lila exactly have to ask about it.  
  
" You know, Derek personally right?" Lila asked.  
  
" Yeah, of course…."  
  
" Well, how come he's not that much of a talkative person? I mean he hasn't come up to me for a chat or anything?" Lila asked innocently.  
  
" Actually…he is pretty out-going. Maybe you guys haven't had an opportunity to talk to each other or something…." Arnold answered slowly, not sure why Lila was so interested in Derek all of a sudden.  
  
" Well, why don't you make an opportunity then? How about…like a date?"  
  
" A Date?" Arnold asked, startled by the question.  
  
Uh-oh… I have to remember…secret…feelings…secret feelings…that's right…that's what Helga said…  
  
" I meant a DOUBLE DATE….you know me and you…and Derek and Helga."  
  
Arnold smiled, as his heart jumped inside him. Lila does like me. She even wants a date. I could kill myself for even thinking that Lila likes Derek. Arnold thought happily to himself.  
  
" I'm not sure…about Derek and Helga…you know how Helga is with mushy stuff…."  
  
" Well, she doesn't have to think like it's romantic or something! She could think it as a friendly date, since she says that she and Derek are just close friends. I'm sure they wouldn't mind that at all!" Lila said enthusiastically.  
  
" Okay, okay…I'll arrange it with Derek." Arnold agreed.  
  
" Thank you Arnold!" Lila said as she hugged Arnold. It was her chance to finally know Derek personally. 


	6. The hurt

Chapter 6: The Hurt  
  
Helga looked at herself in the mirror. She smiled a little at the sight of her reflection. She wore a matte gold colored asymmetrical dress, with the neckline coming from one shoulder going under her armpits. The dress went just right above her knees as the rest of the hemline went down to at least two inches just below her kneecap. Her legs were accentuated with the string that wrapped around the lower part of her legs. The strings came from the dainty two-inch heeled shoes, with the same color as her dress. Her wavy long hair was put up in a bun, with small side tresses falling down, as it accentuated her face. Tiny small star hairpins held up her hair All in all she looked like a greek goddess transported to modern times. Her smile soon faded.  
  
I can't believe Derek managed to drag me into this! I can't believe that bitch would use Arnold…ME…I guess…just so she can make moves…at my Derek…well, he's not someone else's right…? I just hope I have a good time this evening…or there's someone's butt that should be kicked. And I just hope that Lila better have spilled the beans already!  
  
Her thoughts where interrupted when she heard her mom call her from her living room.  
  
" Yes mom, I'm coming!" Helga said as she went out of her room and slowly went down the staircase.  
  
Helga grinned when she saw the astonished look on Derek's face.  
  
" Why are you looking at me like that?" Helga teased as she reached Derek, and kissed him on the cheek.  
  
" N…Nothing….you just look so …amazing…that's all…." Derek said smiling at the ravishing girl that stood before him. Helga looked so incredible that Derek was lost for words.  
  
"Well, you don't look so bad yourself." Helga observed the tall handsome guy that was standing right in front of her. With Derek's black hair all slicked back, and with the hot Armani suit that he was wearing, and with the perfume that was highly intoxicating, he looked like a Calvin Klein model from a magazine.  
  
Derek grinned slightly. " Well, then I guess we shouldn't keep anyone from seeing how wonderful you look tonight." Derek said as he led Helga out the front door, and into his car.  
  
-*-  
  
Arnold took Lila to La Belle's. It was one of the most exquisite restaurants located at a cliff just at the outskirts of the city. He opened the car door on Lila's side as soon as he parked his vehicle. He still couldn't believe how lovely Lila looked that night. She wore a maroon silk tube dress that went an inch above her knees, with black strappy stiletto shoes. Her long auburn hair was worn down as it went way past her shoulders. Her neck was accentuated with a black Y-necklace.  
  
Lila smiled sweetly at the handsome young gentleman that let her out the car. Lila knew that Arnold didn't look so bad either. With his GQ blond hair flowing with the wind, and his hot dark blue suit, he was sure to be a head turner that night.  
  
As soon as they got out the car and went to the restaurants front door, the couple was met by Helga and Derek. Helga held her breath for a second at the sight of Arnold. For someone reason, he looked awfully handsome that night. Arnold's eyes widened a little at the sight of Helga. He's been friends with Helga for so long, that she never imagined Helga to be this….gorgeous. Helga blushed knowing that Arnold was strangely staring at her.  
  
On the other hand, it was the first time that Derek ever took notice of Lila. Derek was entranced at the intoxicating brown haired woman that was standing beside his friend. He looked for a couple of seconds and immediately looked away, fearing that Lila might notice. Lila, on the other hand, looked was entranced at the way Derek looked that night, that she was so oblivious to the dagger glances of Helga Pataki.  
  
One more look, and I swear I'm going to strangle her to death! Helga said to herself. At the moment, she didn't really know what she was angry for, and maybe this was the night she'd find out whom she really does love.  
  
-*-  
  
It wasn't before long that they have just finished ordering their desired meals. There was a short awkward moment. None of them wanted to the start the conversation. Finally, Derek spoke up.  
  
" So, Lila, right?" Derek confirmed.  
  
Lila nodded in reply.  
  
" How come I don't see you that much in school?" Derek asked.  
  
Lila was about to say something, when Helga answered Derek's question for her. " Actually, she's much to involve with her own Drama Club. Their meetings are with the same time as your training…so…" Helga blurted out.  
  
" Uh, Helga, I was asking Lila, you know." Derek said interrupted gently. Helga  
  
held her tongue and just pouted.  
  
" Uh, yeah, actually, Helga's right. I'm very active in my drama club…maybe that's why you don't see me often. I hang out most of the time with my friends from the club."  
  
" I see. Where do you live by the way?" Derek asked.  
  
" What?….Oh, actually I live two streets behind you, at 20th street?" Lila answered.  
  
" Oh, that's not very far from our place, is it Helga?" Derek asked.  
  
Helga shook her head, as she looked at Lila straight in the eye, hoping that she would get the message. Either she tells Arnold or I blurt everything! Helga thought to herself.  
  
"Well then, I guess I could bring you home after training? Right, Helga? She could join us." Derek invited.  
  
" Really?…That would be ever so sweet of you but….isn't it that three's a crowd?" Lila answered sweetly batting her eyelashes at Derek. Helga couldn't help but silently mimic Lila.  
  
" Well, we don't mind actually…do we Helga?" Derek asked.  
  
" What?….Oh sure….I guess not…BUT SOMEONE ELSE WOULD MIND." Helga said glaring straight into Lila's eyes. Lila stopped for awhile, somehow getting the message, but immediately shrugged it off.  
  
" Oh right, Arnold might want to bring you home after all, you and Arnold are having a thing right?" Derek asked.  
  
" Yes Lila, it's true right? I heard you're totally in love with Arnold that you haven't had a crush on ANYONE ELSE other than ARNOLD?" Helga asked, as she raised one eyebrow at Lila. Helga looked at Arnold who was strangely still staring at her.  
  
" ARNOLD?" Helga asked.  
  
" Wh….what?" Arnold said finally snapping out of his thoughts.  
  
" Come on man, so you and Lila? You're finally getting it of to another level? You guys going steady or something?" Derek asked.  
  
" What….well…I don't know about going steady but….Lila and I…" Arnold said unsure of he should answer. Helga felt peculiar about that moment. Usually, when it comes to Lila, Helga knew very well that Arnold would proudly say to the whole world how much he's head over heals for her…but know…why does it look like he's so unsure.  
  
" Arnold and I…are dating for the mean time…maybe we'll take things to another level…in the near future. Who knows?" Lila giggled. Derek's heart winced for a moment there and strangely, he didn't know why. Helga shot a glance at Derek.  
  
Was that disappointment I'm seeing? Helga…look at what's happening! I know Lila likes Derek but I never thought of the possibility…that Derek would like…Lila as well…and I'd be bothered by it…Helga thought to herself.  
  
Arnold just smiled shyly in reply, although, at the back of his mind, he noticed Helga's mean glances at Lila. Maybe Gerald's right…nah…Helga likes Derek…I'm sure of that…  
  
Just then, their conversation was interrupted when the waiter excused himself as he placed the orders on their table.  
  
-*-  
  
It was almost eleven in the evening, when both pairs paid the bill and went out towards their own cars.  
  
" This was a really great evening you guys." Lila commented as she looked adoringly at Derek. Helga was slowly heating up inside. It was a good thing that the night was almost over because she had, had enough with Lila's flirting. Somehow, she wanted to smack Derek's and Arnold's head because they were so oblivious to what Lila was doing to them.  
  
" Yup, it was nice meeting you Lila. So I guess, we'll see you in school." Derek replied.  
  
" Uh-oh…" Arnold replied as he got out of the driver's seat.  
  
" What's the matter?" Lila asked.  
  
" Uh…my tank is almost empty. It can reach until my house…but I don't think it can reach until yours." Arnold said biting his lip.  
  
" What? No! What am I gonna do? My father's going to kill me if I arrive late! I have a curfew!" Lila said, panicking.  
  
" I can bring you home." Derek suddenly blurted out.  
  
" WHAT?!" Helga and Lila suddenly exclaimed.  
  
" Yeah…I have a full tank…and with this car I can drive at full speed. You'll be home just in time, Cinderella." Derek grinned. Lila tried to hide her smile, with Derek's comment. Helga rolled her eyes. She still couldn't believe why everyone was so oblivious to the situation.  
  
" That is…ever so sweet…of you, Derek. Thank you." Lila answered shyly.  
  
Derek smiled and flustered a little.  
  
" As long of course, if it's okay with you, Arnold." Derek asked.  
  
" Okay…I guess….you take care Lila for me, okay pal?" Arnold said.  
  
" Don't worry. I'll be driving fast but with safety first of course." Derek said.  
  
" Ok, you take care sweetie." Arnold said as he kissed Lila on the forehead. Lila squeezed Arnold's hand and then went of towards Derek's car.  
  
I swear another batting of those eyelashes and I'll directly pluck those with my bare hands! This is making me sick! And I couldn't believe that the supposedly romantic evening I'm having with Derek is going to end up with a major FLIRT FEST!  
  
" Look, she may be a Cinderella but I'm not! I don't feel like going home early anyway…so…Arnold…can I go home with you?" Helga asked, looking hopefully at Arnold.  
  
Arnold looked at her, and for some reason, Arnold felt something weird that wasn't usual in their friendship. Helga looked away trying to block her own feelings from getting out of hand.  
  
" S..sure Helga…but…" Arnold answered slowly.  
  
" It's ok, Arnold. I don't mind walking." Helga let out in a sigh.  
  
" Ok! It's settled then. Helga, you go with Arnold…and I got with Derek. I really must be going." Lila said hurriedly as she rushed over to Derek's car and went in. Derek looked at Helga worriedly, wondering what's bothering her. After a moment, he reluctantly got in and drove off.  
  
-*-  
  
Arnold arrived at his house, and parked in front of it. Both of them got out of the car.  
  
" Thanks Arnold. I guess, I have to go home now." Helga said, as she started walking on the sidewalk, headed towards her house.  
  
" Wait! Helga!" Arnold said, catching up to her.  
  
Helga looked back. " I'll walk you home…if you don't mind." Arnold offered.  
  
" Ok." Helga replied.  
  
" What's bothering you, Helga? You don't sound…like yourself" Arnold said.  
  
" That's because I'm quiet Arnold. Nothing's bothering me, I'm just quiet… not your usual loud mouthed, tough, insult infected girl."  
  
" Well…I'm not sure if that's your usual self, Helga. I know there's more to you than meets the eye. I'm also sure, that there's something deeper…a reason probably…why you're not yourself tonight."  
  
" Really, Arnold. It's best that you don't know."  
  
" Why? Did you and Derek have a fight? Is it why you wanted to go with me instead?"  
  
" No, Arnold. Me and Derek…we're fine." Helga said.  
  
" Then…why…"  
  
" I told you, Arnold. You're better off not knowing." Helga said starting to get irritated with Arnold. She knew very well that Arnold should know about this but she didn't want it to be her responsibility to tell the truth. She knew it was Lila that should be the one, in the tough spot right now. At that moment, she was mentally strangling Lila to death.  
  
" Helga…you could tell me, I'm your friend." Arnold said…urging Helga, little by little to open up.  
  
" You wouldn't understand Arnold. And you wouldn't believe me either." Helga said shaking her head. She couldn't take Arnold's probing questions that she started to walk faster. As she did, small raindrops started to pour on her head.  
  
" Helga! Wait! What are you saying, I can't understand?…I can! I will…I'll help you!" Arnold said.  
  
Helga didn't reply. She just walked faster and faster.  
  
Arnold ran up to her and caught her by the arm. Helga turned around and glared angrily at Arnold. " Look Arnold, quit following me! It's raining now, and I suggest you better go home! You wouldn't understand Arnold! Even I can't understand it! So go home!" Helga shouted. By then, big water droplets were dropping from the sky. Helga started to walking again. Arnold ran up to her and grabbed her by the arm again.  
  
" Try me HELGA." Arnold said as he looked at Helga straight in the eye.  
  
-*-  
  
At that very moment that Arnold arrived at his house, Derek and Lila was well were on their way home. Derek couldn't believe that he was enjoying this car ride with Lila. Lila had just finished telling a funny story that happened with Lila's uncle. Derek laughed his heart out. He paused for awhile and sighed as he looked at Lila. For some reason, he was feeling a little different. In fact he wasn't just feeling different he was feeling great. Lila smiled sweetly at Derek.  
  
" By the way, I would like to thank you again for offering me a ride home. I hope it didn't spoil your night with Helga." Lila said.  
  
" What…Helga? I'm sure she'll understand. Helga's a very understanding and sweet person. That's why she's one of my closest and dearest friends."  
  
" Friends?…So, the rumors aren't true?…But I thought you and Helga really had a thing…" Lila left her sentenced unfinished, when she saw that the car was stopping in front of her house. It was starting to rain by that time so Derek put his jacket on Lila's head as she stepped out of the car. Derek assisted her towards her front door.  
  
" Well, honestly, at first, I thought…I did like her. No kidding, Helga's a very unique and special person. I'll never forget her. She's pretty and smart even…for a moment, I thought…and I even felt…that I was in love with her…and I guess she felt the same way too…but…"  
  
" But what?"  
  
" But…not until tonight that everything changed." Derek said looking intently at Lila. Lila gazed up into Derek's soulful brown eyes. There was such a powerful force between them magnetizing them towards each other. Without a second's hesitation, their lips met as both of them went into a long passionate kiss.  
  
-*-  
  
She hesitated for a second but Helga knew she had to tell him. Arnold wasn't going to let this moment pass. He felt as if he really ought to know what Helga has been hiding.  
  
" Well you're in for a shocker Arnold, but the truth is…" Helga's said as her voice started to rise. She was trying to fight against the noise of the raindrops falling hard on the pavement.  
  
" WHAT?" Arnold asked.  
  
" LILA DOESN'T LIKE YOU AT ALL! She's just using you so that she can get to Derek." Helga blurted out. Arnold suddenly let go of Helga's arm and started shaking his head.  
  
" You're lying, HELGA! Lila's not like that! She wouldn't do a thing like that at all. She's a sweet and caring person!"  
  
" Well, I guess she's not so sweet and caring after all! There's more to her than meets the eye, Arnold!…….."  
  
"Lila's INLOVE with me! And I know that!"  
  
" You're calling me a Liar? You come all the way here, pressing me to tell you the truth that I know is going to hurt you…and you're calling me a LIAR!? Tell me, Arnold, did Lila actually tell you that?! Did she say it straight to your face and right into your eyes that she's in love with you?!"  
  
Arnold couldn't answer. He was so dumbfounded by the pricking truth that he was trying to deny.  
  
" NO! But Lila and I have an understanding! We can't really say things straight to each other…but we know! We're inlove, Helga! It can be seen through our actions!"  
  
" Understanding?! If you and Lila have an understanding, then why are you so confused right now, Arnold?! You have to remember she's an actress! Actions can be pretty deceiving" Helga shouted back. Both of the were drenching in the cold rain but not even one dared to seek for cover.  
  
" It's because of you HELGA! You're the reason why I'm confused! You're just jealous!" Arnold blurted out.  
  
"WHAT?!!!!!!!?!?!?" Helga shouted. She was so shocked and surprised to even hear that Arnold was accusing her of ruining his relationship with Lila.  
  
" I know okay! ADMIT IT! You love me! But you're so jealous because I DON'T LOVE YOU, I LOVE LILA! You're so obvious Helga! I can see it every time you give those mean glares at Lila! It's so obvious! I'm sorry Helga, but Lila and I are in love with each other! Thank you very much for trying to sabotage our relationship!"  
  
Helga couldn't speak. She couldn't imagine that those hurtful words would come from the man that he has loved for years. Tears began falling from her eyes and she was half thankful that the rain was doing a good job in hiding them.  
  
" I can't believe it Helga. I know you've bullied since grade school but I never thought that you'd bring your childish ways to highschool! To the extent that you'd want to destroy me…and keep me from having a relationship with a girl that I love! Grow up, Helga!" Arnold shouted back. Helga couldn't take it anymore. She slapped Arnold hard on the face.  
  
" How dare you Arnold! How dare you tell me that straight to my face! How dare you accuse me of destroying your relationship with Lila! You know Arnold…it's true…. I DO LOVE YOU! You hear me! It's true!" Helga said, her tears flowing down her cheeks. Arnold was caught unaware of this confession.  
  
" I've loved you ever since pre-school! I've loved you ever since I first laid my eyes one you! If you don't believe me, I'll repeat it again! I LOVE YOU ARNOLD!!! It's true! I turn green with envy ever since you had that relationship with Ruth! Ever since you've been ogling at Lila! If someone else's been telling you about it, believe them! Because it's true! I have that silly altar of yours made of every bubblegum that you've chewed on! It's true I've written more than 50 books of poems written just for you! It's true Arnold! But NEVER…did I try to destroy…or even keep you…from having your relationship with LILA! Oh yes, I was hurt Arnold! But I'm not that selfish!"  
  
Arnold couldn't believe what he was hearing. It was as if all the hurting truths in the world came tumbling down on him. He looked at Helga who was sitting on the sidewalk, with her face buried in her hands. He didn't know how to act towards Helga anymore. He was so dazed and confused with the whole situation.  
  
" You know what, Arnold? I used to think that someday, I'm going to get over you. For a moment, I did when I met Derek but…I guess….I was wrong. I may like Derek a lot…and for some reason, I'm getting jealous because I know I won't stand a chance against the pretty and goody-goody Lila…. I'm in love with you Arnold…and know that you know…I guess this will be the last time we'll ever talk to each other." Helga said as she got up from the sidewalk and started walking again, leaving Arnold unable to comprehend the realizations that starting to get to him.  
  
-*-  
  
" I'm sorry. This is wrong. Arnold is going to get mad at me." Derek said, breaking away from the kiss.  
  
" Arnold?…We're not even actually dating Derek." Lila said.  
  
" Then, what was that all about? You told me at the dinner that you and Arnold might be…you know…taking things to another level?" Derek asked,  
  
" Well, I did that because…I didn't want Arnold to get hurt…" Lila answered.  
  
" What are we going to do, now?" Derek asked.  
  
" Well, I guess I'll have to make it clear to him that nothings going on between us…and that I'm falling for you." Lila said as she gazed into his eyes, with the slight blush on her cheeks.  
  
" I guess…that's what I'll have to tell Helga also…" Derek said, leaving his voice trailing as both of them went into a passionate kiss. 


	7. Thorns

Chapter 7  
  
" You're not eating again, Helga." Phoebe said looking down on Helga's plate that was still full.  
  
Helga was entranced and dazed that bestfriend's words entered from one ear and left on the other. Ever since that night, Arnold and Helga couldn't even look into each other's eyes. The gang knew some parts of what happened but never got to know the whole story. Up to now they didn't know how to fix the growing distance between Arnold and Helga.  
  
Helga never felt so miserable in her whole life. She could take the fact that Arnold had no feelings for her…but she and Arnold not talking…well…she was practically dying inside. If not for the everyday encouragement given by her bestfriend, Helga would've dropped out of school and stayed miserable in her house. Helga, having a reputation as one of the toughest girls in school, refused to cry in front of anyone, even in front of her bestfriend. Every night, she'd cry herself to sleep, thinking that she should've never admitted her feelings, thinking it was stupid of her to do so.  
  
It wasn't only emotional pain that Helga was experiencing. Because of what happened, she sank into total depression and that caused her to skip meals. Everyday she ate only ten bites. Although Phoebe even tried to put food in her mouth, Helga's appetite would just crumble and fade the moment she sees Lila and Arnold still together eating, HAPPILY, in the cafeteria. Helga would just look away in disgust. And this lunch break was no different from all the others.  
  
" Helga…please…you're going to have one of your ulcer attacks again…." Phoebe said practically pleading.  
  
" I'm not hungry, pheebs…" Helga said weakly.  
  
Phoebe looked helplessly at Gerald, who had no idea what to do also. He knew that his has got to stop. Gerald looked at his bestfriend who was eating with Lila at another table. He knew that Arnold was feeling miserable as well, but he was better in hiding it compared to Helga who was practically more like the living dead. Of course, with Lila to cover his sadness, Arnold was much better off and capable of pretending.  
  
" Helga, this has got to stop…Look at you!" Rhonda said, trying to persuade Helga to move on.  
  
" Helga, Rhonda and Phoebe are right! You're much better of without…" Nadine paused when she noticed Rhonda and Phoebe motioning her not to mention Arnold's name.  
  
" Without Arnold?" Helga said. The three girls were just stunned.  
  
" Well…I….I…wasn't exactly referring to him….what I'm trying to say is that you're pretty and smart…and…you're much better of without other guys….right, girls?" Nadine said looking for reassuring glances at Rhonda and Phoebe. Both girls nodded vigorously in affirmation.  
  
" Really? Then why did Derek dump me as well?" Helga said sarcastically.  
  
Helga could still remember that night that Derek dumped her. It was two days after that rainy night that she confessed to Arnold. Derek admitted to her that he was falling for Lila and that both of them needed to stop seeing each other. Helga was too numb and hurt because of Arnold at that time that she didn't cry at all when Derek told her that. In fact, she accepted it as if it wasn't surprising and inevitable at all. In other words, Helga very well why Derek dumped her…she just didn't want anyone else to know about it.  
  
She knew she could easily let go of Derek because it was Arnold that she loved. It was Arnold that was causing the pain. She was thankful, that at least, Derek and her were still friends. Although she still felt awkward every time she'd ride home with Derek, Derek would fortunately make an effort to make her feel ok. Both of them would talk about TV shows, homework, anything…except Arnold and the way she felt for him.  
  
Derek wanted to reach out to Helga. He knew how much she was hurt but right now, he knew it wasn't the right time. He was also still trying to confront his own problems because until that very moment, Arnold had no idea about what happened that night. Derek winced every time Arnold would talk about how much he loved Lila. Derek knew that he was slowly backstabbing his own friend. Every time that happened, Derek wanted to tell him the truth but he always reminded by the thought that it was Lila's responsibility to tell him.  
  
Helga knew everything. In fact she was the only one who knew the whole truth and it was slowly killing her, even these things were kept from the gang and even from her own bestfriend.  
  
" Ouch….." Helga said as she crouched down on her lap.  
  
" Helga?…Are you okay?….I told you to eat….come…eat this…" Phoebe said as she prepared a spoon full of spaghetti for Helga.  
  
" I'm okay, Phoebe. I'm okay." Helga said slowly sitting up, but the pain on her face was still evident. Her eyes were closed tightly, with her head resting on hand. Her other hand was placed at her stomach.  
  
" Helga…you're not…you want to go the clinic…I can…." Phoebe offered.  
  
" No! Okay. I don't need you! I'm going to the clinic by myself." Helga said as she got up and rushed out of the cafeteria.  
  
Phoebe looked helplessly at her bestfriend as she barged her way through the crowd. Arnold noticed this as well, and a moment of pain surfaced but after awhile Arnold hid it quickly before anyone could notice that he was hurt, too.  
  
" Why do you keep pushing me away?" Phoebe said to herself, as a drop of tear fell on her cheek.  
  
-*-  
  
Helga wasn't able to go back to class after her visit to the clinic. She was recommended to go home and eat but like very recommendation the school clinic would tell her, she refused to do it. Phoebe said goodbye to her boyfriend, as she was dropped of at Helga's house. Derek offered to give the homework to Helga but Phoebe insisted on giving it. She needed to be there for her bestfriend.  
  
Phoebe went up the front steps and knocked on the front door. After a few seconds, she was greeted by Helga's mom and was let in.  
  
" Helga?" Phoebe said softly, outside Helga's room. She knocked on Helga's door but after hearing no response, she went in. She saw Helga staring aimlessly at her ceiling, her expression left totally blank. Helga looked at her bestfriend and went back to staring into space.  
  
" What did the nurse tell you, Helga?" Phoebe asked as she noticed the tray of unfinished food on the table. Helga didn't reply.  
  
" You didn't eat again?" Phoebe asked. Again, she was met with silence.  
  
" I…I brought your homework….Mr. Simmons said…he could give you a make up test…and can give you extra work, so you can catch up with your grades….your behind by two lessons Helga. You have to start eating…and get over with your depression." Phoebe said as she sat on the edge of her bestfriend's bed.  
  
" Easy for you to say." Helga snorted.  
  
" No…Helga…it wasn't easy for me to say that….I know what you're going through…trust me, I'm your bestfriend…your pain, is my pain too…and I know it's not easy….but I can't stand this. I miss the old Helga where you're always energetic and smart and lively. The gang misses that…we can't stand to see you miserable…please Helga…we're willing to help you as long as you help yourself. "  
  
" You know what, if you guys can't put up with my depression…then you're free to not stand it. Because I'm fine, I like where I am. Why are you guys focusing on me anyway? Why not Arnold?…….wait oh right, he's not the least bit miserable."  
  
" Helga…how could you say that?…As long as you're miserable…whatever you're feeling…I'll stay by your side…no matter what. Even Derek is wondering how you're doing…he told me that can't seem to connect with you anymore."  
  
" Funny you should mention Derek." Helga snorted. " F.Y.I., the reason why he can't connect with me anymore is because he was the one who detached himself from me."  
  
" Well…I am aware of that…but…"  
  
" Tell me, Phoebe, did you ever wonder why Derek dumped me all of a sudden?" Helga said as she sat straight up. Anger was starting to surface and she was trying to control her feelings. She didn't want to get upset again.  
  
" Well…I don't know, Helga…you've been shutting yourself from us…from me…how should I know."  
  
" Didn't you ask him that, Phoebe?! Did you!? Because if you did, I doubt it that he'll tell you!" Helga said as she started to raise her voice.  
  
" What, Helga?! Is that what you're trying to keep from me!?"  
  
" You can never understand what I'm feeling, Phoebe! Because you don't know anything!" Helga said with tears starting to drop from her blue eyes, her eyes full of anger and pain. Phoebe didn't know what to say.  
  
" Derek dumped me for LILA, Phoebe! He dumped me…another guy, dumped me again! For that, goody-goody looking girl LILA! Again Phoebe!" Helga said as angry tears flowed heavily from her eyes.  
  
" What's worse is, Lila never loved ARNOLD! At this very minute, I KNOW VERY WELL that she's two-timing the guy that I love for the guy that I used to love! She's two-timing him for Derek! She never loved Arnold, Phoebe! She was just using him!" Helga cried. Phoebe immediately understood what her bestfriend was saying. She knew there wasn't in anyway that she could do to comfort her bestfriend. It was as if you tried to take away the thorn that has been buried deeply into Helga's heart, the more you take it out, the more painful it will be.  
  
" I TRIED TELLING ARNOLD THAT! That's what really happened that night. I just didn't admit to him that I like him…I told him the truth that he should know! I couldn't stomach the fact that the one Arnold loved so much was the very person that was hurting him! I can't go and be blind with that! I can't pretend that nothing's happening! I love Arnold, I wanted to spare him from being hurt! But you know what you get from telling the truth, Phoebe!?! Do you know!?! YOU GET HURT MORE! Arnold accused me that I was jealous that I was childish…that I only did that because I loved him! That's what you don't know…that's what they don't know…." Helga sobbed as she buried her face in her hands.  
  
Phoebe couldn't say a word. Tears started falling from her eyes as well. She couldn't imagine her own bestfriend being hurt that much. She hugged Helga with all her might.  
  
" I'm sorry…Helga…I didn't know…" Phoebe said as she weeped softly.  
  
" I'm trapped, Phoebe…and nobody knows it…well…I guess you do…" Helga said.  
  
" But this has to stop, Helga. This has to stop! You have to get over him! You can't ruin your life just because of a guy, Helga! Look what he's doing to you?! You're usually the tough girl that even guys are scared off…but now…you look so vulnerable…so fragile…why are you letting him hurt you, Helga?" Phoebe exclaimed.  
  
" Because I love him, Phoebe" Helga wept sadly.  
  
Their crying was interrupted with a groan from Helga. Helga began crouching again, holding her stomach tight.  
  
" Helga…Helga…what's happening…are you okay? Where's your medicine?" Phoebe asked, as she started to panic. The pain that Helga was showing was different. It was a horrible kind of pain that Phoebe could see in Helga's eyes.  
  
" I can do it, Phoebe." She said, as she struggled to get out of bed, and reach for the medicine bottle that was placed on her study table.  
  
Phoebe watched her bestfriend take hold of the glass of water. But just as Helga held the glass in her hand, Helga immediately collapsed on the floor.  
  
"HELGA!" Phoebe said as she rushed over to Helga's body lying on the floor. She looked at her bestfriend that showed her the face of pain and weakness combined. 


	8. Hurting Truths

Chapter 8: Hurting Truths  
  
Big Bob Pataki, Miriam, and Phoebe were all waiting outside the emergency room. All of them were nervous as they tried to wait patiently for the doctor's diagnosis. Phoebe didn't know if she should tell the gang about what happened. Right now, she was the only who was carrying to burden of worries and anxieties. After what seemed like a long hour of waiting, the doctor went out of the emergency room. The three people that Helga held near her heart looked up, revealing concerned looks on their faces.  
  
" May I please talk to you in private, Mr. and Mrs. Pataki?" The doctor asked motioning them towards a small room.  
  
Miriam looked at Phoebe, whose face was painted with anxiety.  
  
" Look, doctor, it's alright. Phoebe's practically family. She and Helga has been bestfriends for more than ten years. Whatever we need to know about Helga, she needs to know to."  
  
" Okay then…I believe that according to the results…Helga's been diagnosed with ulcer. That may be very apparent but what we found out is that…her stomach's….almost gone…Because she hasn't been eating well, the acid's been eating on her stomach…and what started as a small hole…has now grown so big. The acid that is secreted regularly during digestion….is eating her veins as well…the acid is entering her blood…and…." The doctor paused for a while and looked at the apprehensive faces of Helga's loved ones.  
  
" What, doctor? Is my baby going to die?" Miriam asked, with tears at the rim of her eyes.  
  
" That I don't know, Mrs. Pataki. For all we know, the acid in her veins might be eating her up right now. Frankly, the rest is up to Helga's body. For now, we need to do an operation on her stomach to keep the acid from eating what's left of it….but we can't do anything about the acid that's intoxicated her blood."  
  
" How much acid is in her blood, doctor?" Phoebe asked.  
  
" Well, I'm not sure exactly but…I believe Helga's body can fight it…but if she continues to eat less…it may not be enough to stop it from spreading throughout her body."  
  
" When will the operation be doctor?" Big Bob Pataki asked.  
  
" Actually, it can be done tonight." The doctor asked.  
  
-*-  
  
" You are not going to tell anyone about this, okay?" Helga pleaded for the nth time. Two days have passed since the night of the operation and nobody except Phoebe and Helga's family knew about it.  
  
" Okay…but I don't see any reason why we should keep it from them." Phoebe said timidly.  
  
" Well, I don't want them to give another reason for pitying me! They've pitied me enough when Derek and Arnold sort of…dumped me…and now this?! No way, I wouldn't want to have them thinking that I'm the girl born with bad luck!" Helga exclaimed as they walked leisurely around the campus as they waited for Derek and Gerald.  
  
" Arnold deserves to know Helga."  
  
" What for? I'm not his girlfriend or anything! And I don't want him to be all big-headed because of my depression …that of course he was the reason for. No way!"  
  
" You're not planning to tell, Derek?" Phoebe asked.  
  
" No way. I don't want him pitying me also! I don't want anyone feeling guilty about what happened."  
  
" Okay…here they come now." Phoebe said as she saw two tall gentlemen walking towards them.  
  
" Sorry to keep you waiting Pheebs. We just went by the bulletin board to check the coach's announcements." Gerald said as he gave Phoebe a kiss.  
  
" You ready to go, Helga?" Derek asked.  
  
" Yup, I can't wait to go home." Helga said.  
  
" Bye guys, Gerald and I will probably go the mall first." Phoebe said as she and Gerald walked away in the opposite direction.  
  
" Arnold still doesn't know right?" Helga asked.  
  
" Well…maybe he does…I don't…"  
  
" Well, because if Arnold does know about it, you and I wouldn't be here together. You'd probably be of somewhere with Lila or something." Helga interrupted.  
  
" Helga…please. You're still one of my dearest friends ok? It's really up to Lila right now…"  
  
" Derek! When will this stop? Tell me! Because I can't take it…I can't stand it…to see both of them everyday still together when I know very well that Lila is two-timing Arnold…and you!" Helga said exasperatedly.  
  
Derek knew Helga was right and he knew there was no point in arguing.  
  
" I'm sure Derek, that it kills you as well…to stand right in front of Arnold…when you know that in the back of your mind…hey pal, your girlfriend is cheating on you and I'm the other guy!" Helga said mimicking Derek's voice.  
  
" HEY YOU!" Helga and Derek turned around and saw the man who shouted. Arnold was angrily walking fast towards the both of them, with Lila helplessly running after him, pleading Arnold to stop.  
  
" Man, are you okay?" Derek asked. Without replying, Arnold's fist smacked right into Derek's face. This caused Derek's nose to bleed. Derek was shocked when he realized that blood was spilling over his shirt.  
  
" Arnold…what…" Derek asked, wondering what's going on.  
  
" Don't play innocent Derek. Lila told me everything!" Arnold said as he pounced on Derek. Both dropped on the ground. Each tried to wrestle and pin his enemy to the ground.  
  
" Arnold I tried to tell you!" Derek said when he momentarily pinned Arnold to the ground. Arnold, with all his strength, pushed him off, and kicked him in the stomach.  
  
" You tried to tell me?! Exactly when was that Derek! You're a freaking son of a bitch!" Arnold said as he pinned Derek to the ground. He punched him with all his might until blood spilled.  
  
Derek had had enough. He punched Arnold with all his might, to the extent that Arnold's face was bleeding. Helga and Lila were watching everything in horror. Helga didn't know what to do. She knew it wasn't wise to get in between or else she'd end up bleeding also. Lila was kneeling down on the ground next to her, sobbing.  
  
" You talk as if, I was the only bad guy here, Arnold! Don't be so insensitive to the hurt that you caused Helga!…She was the one who tried to tell you first, Arnold! But you were so heartless that you didn't believe her! You even accused her of lying! Why would she do that Arnold? Why would she when she was only trying to protect the man that loved for years?! I knew that Arnold! And you were so goddamn dense about it!" Derek said. After letting out all their anger, Derek got off Arnold's body and tried to stand up. Lila went over to Derek and pulled Derek's arm around her shoulder, for support.  
  
" We better go home, Derek." Lila said as she assisted Derek over to the carpark.  
  
Helga and Arnold were left alone. Tears were swelling in Helga's eyes, as she was struck again by the hurting truth of that night. She looked at Arnold who was crouched, as he laid on the ground. She wanted to help him, hug him, and show him how much she cared….but she just couldn't. There was something stopping her… and that was the pride that she had left. She looked helplessly at Arnold, as he tried to regain his strength. She saw him as he tried to stand up. Helga run immediately to his side and tried to get him on his feet.  
  
Their eyes met for a while and Helga could see the hurt and confusion in Arnold's eyes. Arnold could see the love that Helga was offering. Arnold looked away refusing what Helga was willing to give him.  
  
" Arnold…I'm sorry…I…" Helga stammered. She didn't know what she wanted to say. All she wanted was to take away Arnold's pains.  
  
" What are you saying sorry for? Didn't you hear Derek? I'm the bad guy here; so don't go making me look good. You understand that?" Arnold said angrily. He didn't know what he was angry for. He was just so ashamed and hurt about what happened that he didn't know exactly what to feel.  
  
" I don't care…Arnold…I forgive you….and I want us to be okay…and…"  
  
" YOU FORGIVE ME? What are you a martyr or something? Why? Because you love me?! Get a life Helga! No sane woman would want to forgive a guy that has hurt her so badly!" Arnold cried.  
  
" I would, Arnold…" Helga said looking down at her feet.  
  
" You know what Helga, it's best if you just go away. It's best if we keep our distance. You can't love me, Helga. I've hurt you enough and the thought of hurting you again might cause me another wound and another wound in your heart. GET THAT IN YOUR HEAD. I'm telling you, Helga….DON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE…if you don't want to get hurt…don't!" Arnold said looking intently and angrily into Helga's eyes. With that, he walked away, leaving Helga hurt than she ever was.  
  
" I'm sorry Arnold, I can't do that…as long as I'm alive…you can't make me stop loving you…I'm sorry…" Helga said as she wept bitter tears. 


	9. Opportunities

Chapter 9: Opportunities  
  
It has been a week since that happened. By now, not only did the rest of the gang know about it, the incident was probably the latest gossip there was. Nothing changed. The gap between Arnold and Helga still grew far apart. It seemed that there was nothing that the gang could do about it unless; one decides to make a move.  
  
Helga still continued to love Arnold but that she refused to admit that to the public. Everyday she'd have her head up high, refusing to take notice of Arnold. She'd dress more sophisticated that she was able to catch the attention of other guys.  
  
Arnold, on the other hand, refused to show that he was bothered by what Helga was doing. He'd try go through everyday as if nothing happened. His face would turn hard as stone. Things were much tougher for Arnold, since he had to go to training everyday and interact with the guy that he hated the most. What made matters worse, Derek and Lila were out in the open by now, and everyday Lila would go and meet Derek after their training. Arnold was so hurt that he already came close to not attending practice anymore.  
  
The rest of 118 High's basketball varsity was heated up at the moment. They were all preparing for the next Saturday's championship game against Jackson High, which already won three consecutive championships for the past three years. The couch was grilling them harder than they could've ever imagined. The team was divided into two parts and both parts were having a practice game with each other.  
  
Gerald passed the ball to Arnold. He looked fiercely into the player who was blocking him. It wasn't hard for him to look at him that way because it was Derek who was guarding his every move. Arnold has been playing roughly for the past few days. All his anger and pain was let out in basketball, and the coach noticed that very much.  
  
" Get out of the way you fool!" Arnold said fiercely looking straight into Derek's eyes. Arnold was trying to look for away out of the blocking Derek was doing.  
  
Derek smirked a little. " You're calling me a fool? How are we supposed to win if I'm going to let you pass and score some points?"  
  
" That's were you're wrong, Derek. You're never gonna win." Arnold said as he bounced the ball, trying to concentrate and at the same time guard the ball away from Derek.  
  
" Well,…I did won Lila over you didn't I?" Derek said. It was all that Arnold could take. Without warning, Arnold pivoted around Derek. Arnold swiveled so hard that Derek was knocked down in the process. Arnold ran towards the ring and made a slam dunk.  
  
Derek got up and went towards Arnold.  
  
" Hey man, that was way out of line!" Derek said pushing Arnold back.  
  
" Really?! Then, tell me…if what I did was out of line…what do you call yours? Stealing my girlfriend and everything?…Was it appropriate or just right for the situation?…" Arnold said pushing Derek as well. The team gathered around them. Arnold was holding Gerald back, while another guy was holding Derek.  
  
" That's it. ARNOLD & DEREK, in my office at once!" The coach said as his voice boomed over the gym. The team silenced at once, as Derek and Arnold let their defenses down and reluctantly followed the coach to his office.  
  
-*-  
  
Arnold and Derek's hearts were both hammering as they sat, patiently waiting in front of the coach's desk. The coach got to folders from the file cabinet and sat down. The coach looked seriously at both of the varsity's star players. He shook his head and took a deep breath.  
  
" I've noticed this for the past few days. There's this heated tension between the both of you…and…"  
  
" Coach, if it weren't for a two-timing freak named Derek..I" Arnold said his temper starting to rise.  
  
" Arnold." The coach said firmly, causing Arnold to stop himself. " I don't want to know the reason why you're having tension…this is personal…and I leave you with each other to solve on your own problems. My concern is this…because of the tension going on between the both of you…I'm afraid both of you play too roughly…you might cause too many fouls for the team during our championship…"  
  
" But coach, I can change that…all I need is more practice…I hope you're not considering pulling me out of the starting five?" Derek asked.  
  
" Oh…gee…it's the end of the world." Arnold remarked sarcastically, as he rolled his eyes.  
  
" Look! I care about my basketball career ok?! I need to be seen so that I can get a college scholarship. Basketball is important for me!" Derek said, glaring at Arnold.  
  
" STOP IT!" The coach shouted. Derek and Arnold were both stunned and laid back to their original position. " That's why I'm worried about you guys. Maybe your tension can be shifted and let out in a different way, through basketball…we can train for that! But…" The coach said as he opened both folders. " I'm afraid your grades are going down. Teachers have been reporting to me about your performance and it has gone from bad to worse. Derek, you used to be very diligent and punctual in everything…now, you submit late papers…and even the quality of those papers are very disappointing." The coach said, as Derek started looking away from the coach.  
  
" And you Arnold. You used to have an excellent performance during class discussions…but now, you seem a little bit distracted…and so heated up. You're grades are going down a bit. I'm not saying that you're failing but I'm afraid that…it might lead to that state." The coach finished, as he looked at the two players, who can't even look straight into his eyes.  
  
" It is school policy that athletes are not allowed to play in school games unless they pass the finals and unless their grades improve. I doubt it you'll improve especially with next weeks training which will be doubled to two hours. I'm not sure…"  
  
" No coach! You can't do that! I have to play!" Arnold exclaimed.  
  
" I know, Arnold. The team needs both of you. With the school's policy, I think you need some help…you can't do it on your own, if you want your grades to improve, you guys are going to need some assistance." The coach paused for awhile and then continued, " I have asked the aid of two of the most excellent students in your batch to help you with your studies. One is…Phoebe…which will assist you Derek. And another is…."  
  
Arnold's head started raising. Who could possibly be the other excellent student that could help him? It was obvious that Phoebe was one…but who could the other one be? Arnold's face was starting to heat up, realizing who it was that was going to help him play for the championships.  
  
" Ms. Helga Pataki." The coach said.  
  
-*-  
  
" WHAT?!" Helga exclaimed. Helga just finished eating her dinner when she got a phone call from the principal. Helga shook her head widely. " SIR! You don't understand! I….I….I can't do that!….No way! I'm not! I can't! You have to be mistaken! Why not Phoebe? Or someone else!?" Helga cried realizing the task that she was asked to do.  
  
" Trust me Helga, you can do it. I already asked Phoebe to help Derek, and I guess it won't be that hard for you since you and Arnold, have been friends since pre-school. I trust you'll do a wonderful job. Remember Helga, if their grades improve, I'm sure we'll be the first to thank you for helping the basketball varsity win the championships." The principal said as he put down the phone.  
  
Helga's mind started raising as she thought of the possibilities. She was about to go bezzerk just thinking about having to tutor Arnold, of all people in school, every afternoon after their training.  
  
" How could you let this happen to me?!" Helga exclaimed looking up towards her ceiling. 


	10. Lesson 1: On Being Civil

Chapter 10  
  
" I'll be at your house, aight…if that's okay with you?…and Gerald of course" Derek grinned.  
  
" Sure, Derek. I'm willing to help anytime. What time will your practice end anyway?" Phoebe asked. Phoebe, Derek, and Helga were all headed for the cafeteria that lunchtime.  
  
" I'm not sure…but I know I'll be there by 7pm. Is that okay?" Derek asked again.  
  
" Sure, no prob." Phoebe assured.  
  
" Alright then, I better be off, Lila's waiting for me. Bye Pheebs…bye Helga." Derek said as he gave Helga a slight pat on the back. Helga looked up and nodded glumly in recognition, as she saw Derek strode of towards his girlfriend.  
  
" Can't we switch or something, Pheebs?! Please?!" Helga pleaded again.  
  
" Helga, if I'm going to switch with you, you and Arnold would loose an opportunity in getting a chance to talk. Now, would I want that?" Phoebe teased.  
  
" Because! You're my bestfriend! And you don't want me stuck with a major football headed jerk …slash loser!!!" Helga exclaimed. Both of them were waiting in line for their cafeteria food.  
  
" Yup Helga, that's right you're going to be stuck with the football headed jerk slash loser SLASH the one you LOVE." Phoebe reminded. Helga rolled her eyes. Both of them walked towards the tables as they stood for a moment trying to find a place.  
  
" Pheebs please! Don't say bad words! It's rude you know!" Helga grinned at her bestfriend.  
  
" Oh look…speaking of jerk slash loser slash the one you love…there he is right now." Phoebe whispered in Helga's ears. She followed were her bestfriend was looking and saw Arnold somewhat bored as he ate his chicken fingers. He was eating his meal together with the rest of the gang, who were seated in a long table.  
  
" Aaaaww…look Helga…he looks so sad…" Phoebe teased again.  
  
" Ugh! Please Phoebe! I don't give a damn about it!" Helga said as she finally found a table near them.  
  
" Nu-uh, Helga! We are both going to go straight to our gang's table. I'm sick of having to eat separate from them. And you are going to arrange a tutoring schedule with Arnold!"  
  
" WHAT? No way! He needs me so he should come to me!"  
  
" Come on, now." Phoebe said. Helga reluctantly followed her bestfriend.  
  
" Hey Phoebe! And Helga!" Nadine and Rhonda excitedly greeted.  
  
" Hi you guys!" Phoebe said as she found a seat next to Rhonda. Instead of greeting her friends, Helga, with her chin up high, an eyebrow raised, walked snottily straight towards Arnold.  
  
" Hey football head." Helga said looking down at Arnold. Arnold slowly looked up half surprised that Helga was talking to him. Before he could say anything in return, Helga continued. " I was told that I was to tutor you until your hopeless grades improve. I was thinking …why would I do that when you weren't even a friend to me or anything…but then the principal pleaded and said…that if you're grades improve, you'd make the starting five and play in the championship thus…usher the team to winning our first championship…and I was like thinking…there are other guys in the team better than you are…so why waste my time…but I couldn't help it…the principal was pleading so badly…plus, he told me I'd get extra points for devoting my precious time to you…so I might as well do it. In conclusion, I'm doing this NOT for you…but for the principal and the school's name. THUS, since you need me so badly, you comply to my schedule. Be at my house tonight at 7pm. Don't keep me waiting football head. GET IT? GOT IT? …GOOD." Helga said, as she finished talking, all of her friend's eyes were on her. They seemed to marvel at the way Helga ordered Arnold to do as she pleases. Helga smiled satisfactorily to herself as she went to sit beside her bestfriend, far away from Arnold.  
  
-*-  
  
It was almost 7pm when Arnold last checked his watch. He was tired and beat up after that practice, that at that time he was thinking twice about going to Helga's house. He remembered what his coach said and his determination filled his soul again. He, indeed, wanted to win that championship. He took a deep breath as he knocked on Helga's front door. His head wandered for a while and saw the house situated across the street.  
  
So, I guess…this is Derek's house… Arnold thought. Just then his thoughts were interrupted when the front door opened and he was met by Helga. Helga was startled to see him, almost forgetting that she was supposed to tutor Arnold that night.  
  
" What are you….oh right, come in." Helga said as she made way for Arnold to pass. Arnold stood blankly at the beautiful blond girl in front of him. Helga's long blond hair was tied up in a classic ponytail, that emphasized her slender shoulders, as she wore a cream-colored halter top, and denim Capri's.  
  
" Am I supposed to watch you freeze out there? Get in Arnold! I don't have all night!" Helga said. She had to force herself to be a little bit nasty. Looking at Arnold, it was very hard to be one. Arnold looked so tired and weary, and his eyes showed the very emotion of it. His GQ hairstyle flowed beautifully down to his eyes, and his strong muscular arms carried the weight of his sports bag.  
  
After awhile, they got themselves set-up in Helga's room, with books on one side and notes on the other side. Arnold noticed the unfinished dinner that was partly hidden underneath Helga's bed. Arnold wondered for a second what it might be but shrugged it of when Helga shot him a question.  
  
" What did the coach say I should teach you?" Helga asked, as she busied herself gathering writing materials.  
  
" I guess…I need help in Literature and Math…" Arnold said, as he watched Helga look for something. Helga sat beside him.  
  
" Let's get this straight ok, Arnold? I'm helping you because of…"  
  
" Because it's a favor for the principal, the school's name, and he will give you extra credit for it. You've made it clear awhile ago, Helga." Arnold said.  
  
" Good. I just don't want you, thinking about some crazy stuff. I know what can go in a guy's head you know. "  
  
Arnold nodded in reply.  
  
" I talk you listen. I don't want any smart-aleck stuff. For once Arnold, let's be civil."  
  
" You're telling me." Arnold snorted.  
  
" What the…?….okay, alright, we can be friends…for the MEANTIME." Helga asked.  
  
" Fine with me, Helga. Let's get down to business. " Arnold said.  
  
" One more thing…" Helga paused for awhile and looked sternly into Arnold's eyes. " This should remain plain business. I don't fall in love with you…and you don't fall in love with me. Got that?" Helga said.  
  
It got Arnold thinking for a moment, wondering what the point was but in the end he nodded in reply. 


	11. Hurtful Truth

CHAPTER 11  
  
" Neruda….Neruda…." Arnold mumbled to himself as he scanned through the rows of books that filled the shelves in the library. His study session with Helga has been going on for at least 5 days. Arnold was close to breaking down, with the school's finals coming just before the game, and the longer harder training the coach was giving them.  
  
The library wasn't Arnold's favorite place but for the mean time Arnold was doing what Helga asked him to do study the famous poet, Pablo Neruda. He was getting impatient. He had squeezed his library visit between his dismissal and basketball practice. He glanced at his watch and saw that he had to find the book in 15 minutes. His face lightened up when he saw the book that Helga asked him to read. He went out of the rows of shelves that towered over him and went over a table nearby, to fill up the card at the back of the book. He only had ten minutes left before basketball practice, just as he was about to leave the library. He saw someone that caught his attention.  
  
It was Lila. She was about to leave the library, too. She looked straight into Arnold's eyes when there paths crossed. It was such a brief moment that after that, Lila left the library.  
  
" Lila, wait!" Arnold called out, following Lila. Lila didn't bother to quicken her pace, slow down, or even look back to the yearning voice that was calling after her. After awhile, Arnold caught up to her.  
  
" Umm…hi, Lila." Arnold managed to say.  
  
" Hi, Arnold." Lila said politely.  
  
" What were you doing in the library? Do you always go there?" Arnold asked. At that moment, he had this certain longing to talk to Lila. He had missed talking to her so much, her voice, her playful actions, and her bright eyes. He knew Lila had hurt her so much but he didn't care.  
  
Lila stopped walking and looked into Arnold's eyes. " Arnold, look, I don't think we should be talking to each other anymore. I'm sorry of what happened between us…but it's over okay? I really do love Derek. There never was something between us and if there was it probably didn't last. Helga was right all along. She was the first person who knew of my feelings for Derek. Be a good friend, Arnold and apologize to Helga. She really did love you to the point that she wanted to tell you the truth and free you from the lies that surround you." Lila said and walked towards Derek, who was waiting for her just before the stairs.  
  
" Lila…" Arnold quietly said to himself, as he gazed at the girl that he still loved walk away with his teammate. He couldn't believe that even those words came from the girl that he loved. Why was everybody telling him that Helga loved him? Arnold wondered. He already knew that. Helga told him personally. But was that much that almost everybody had to remind him of it. Why can't they see that honestly…he didn't care… Arnold let out a sigh, trying to release the heavy feeling in his heart, as he trudged towards the gym.  
  
-*-  
  
The training was finally over. It was a good thing Arnold brought his car along. If he had to walk with all his aching muscles towards Helga's house, he'd probably drop dead at her feet. It wasn't along that he was greeted by Helga's mom at the doorstep.  
  
" Hi Arnold. Come in. I just set Helga out for an errand. She'll be back any minute. If you want, you can wait in her room. I believe she's all set for your study session." Miriam greeted as she waved Arnold inside. Arnold smiled and expressed his gratitude as he went up the stairs.  
  
Arnold opened the door and saw that Helga's mom was right. The books to be studied for that night were already on the desk, and in order. Pencils and pens were sharpened and placed neatly in a pencil holder. Papers and notes were stalked on the other side of the table. He decided to explore Helga's room for a bit. He saw how the face of Helga change from a baby, to a nine year old, to a lovely teenage woman.  
  
He noticed a section of Helga's room that he's never seen before. A door, probably to a dressing room, was left ajar. He decided to peer inside it, not noticing a shoebox that was placed near the door. He tripped inside the small closet, revealing to himself a sort of small figure. He tried to find a flashlight as he felt his way inward. He felt was it seemed was a matchbox. He got a matchstick out and lighted a candle that was near him. The light from the candle brightened the small place, revealing what an altar of….himself?! Arnold was so surprised to see himself, made of bubblegum. He suddenly recalled what Helga told him that night. He looked towards his left and saw a box filled with dozens of books.  
  
Are these the poems Helga was telling me about? So…Helga…loves me this much?…I don't believe it… Arnold thought as he opened the book and decided to read one of Helga's poems.  
  
There you go again…  
  
As if I am more invisible than the wind…  
  
Oh, Arnold…with you…  
  
Maybe it is better to be the wind…  
  
Then maybe being it, I could follow you wherever you go  
  
And hug you, as I envelope you while you sleep..  
  
Loving you Arnold… can be so painful  
  
That I am willing to deny myself as a human and be something else  
  
For what am I Arnold…I am nothing to you…  
  
Coz I am what you call…just a friend…  
  
Arnold immediately turned another page, wanting to find out how Helga really felt. Reading that one poem almost felt like it had a world of his own. He slowly turned another page, excited at the same time afraid of what these poems would reveal about Helga's true self.  
  
How I hate you, Arnold!  
  
Can't you see me for what I really am…  
  
Every time I get near you…  
  
I try to shout to you how I really feel…  
  
And for someone reason…no matter how hard I try…  
  
You don't see to hear me…  
  
Indeed, a heart breaking is at it's most painful point  
  
When the very act of breaking cannot be heard  
  
I hope you know how that feels like Arnold…  
  
Because I do, every time you look at her…  
  
Could I really have that impact on, Helga? Arnold thought to himself. It was funny how Helga could express herself in poems better than saying it. As time passed by, he found himself engrossed in those poems. Little by little, he began to understand what lies beneath the fiery angry eyes that always seems to look upon him. Little by little he saw himself relating himself to the poems Helga wrote, as he thought of Lila. He was so immersed in the intensity of each poem, that he didn't notice someone standing behind him.  
  
" WHAT DO YOU THINK, YOU'RE DOING?!" an angry voice boomed inside the small room. Arnold spun around and saw the pale and horrified face of Helga, as he realized that he had just been caught.  
  
-*-  
  
" I'm sorry, Helga. I just happened to look around and I stumbled in…and I read one poem…and there…well…I'm sorry…" Arnold explained. Arnold was sitting on the chair near the study table. Helga sat on the bed, looking hard down on the floor. She didn't know how she was suppose to feel. Again, Arnold was beginning to find out things that she didn't want Arnold to exactly know about. She knew that she confessed about the book of poems but she never really wanted Arnold to read them.  
  
She remembered how she felt that moment that he saw Arnold reading those poems. She felt so ashamed and embarrassed. Nobody knew Helga's poetic and mushy side, except Phoebe. With Arnold reading her poems, she felt as if Arnold was knowing her very own secrets. She felt so violated that she didn't know if she was ashamed or mortified. Right now, she knew that she had to end the night. There was no way, she felt comfortable around Arnold.  
  
" Look, Arnold…it happened already…so there's really nothing I can do about it. I'm sure you'll find that anyway, since I'm probably gonna die…" Helga said leaving the last part to herself.  
  
" What?"  
  
" It's okay, Arnold. I mean..really…might as well know the whole story. But really, that was before…okay? I hope you don't go spreading the whole school about my mushy side, ruining my reputation in the process." Helga said.  
  
" No, Helga…I promise." Arnold said. Helga looked into Arnold's eyes. She felt her feelings surge in as she look straight into Arnold's sincere eyes. She immediately looked away, refusing to let her feelings get out of control.  
  
" Thanks, Arnold." Helga said, as she let out a sigh of relief.  
  
" Look, I'm really sorry about what happened….between us…us…I mean…with Derek…and Lila…and you know…those things…I told you that night….you know…" Arnold stammered. Helga looked at Arnold. She knew Arnold was being sincere this time. She smiled to herself knowing that may be back to normal.  
  
Helga immediately shrugged it off, continuing to show of her tough side. " You know what, Arnold really, it's okay. I'm over it already."  
  
Arnold looked up, seeing Helga, smiling meekly. " Really?" Arnold said with skepticism.  
  
" You want my forgiveness or not?" Helga said.  
  
" I do…it's just that…I know I've hurt you and…"  
  
" Really, Arnold. It's okay. Let's not get into the details. Let's just say, that I realize each has it's own side. Both of us are wrong and right at the same time. It's happened already, so there's no use carrying this grudge against you forever, right?" Helga said.  
  
" Right…so friends again?" Arnold said as he held up his hand for a handshake.  
  
Helga knew she was dying inside but refused to acknowledge that feeling for that moment. She let out a sight and nodded. She held out her hand but just as their hands were about to shake, she tricked Arnold as her hand went flying, as it hit his head.  
  
" OUCH! What was that for?" Arnold exclaimed as he rubbed his head.  
  
" Hey dude, we're friends! Don't expect me to hold your hand or anything!" Helga said as she let out a laugh, as she silently told herself, that somehow this was the right thing to do. 


	12. The game

CHAPTER 12  
  
The whole gym was packed. Almost every student from 118 High was there. Students from the opposing team filled the other half of the gymnasium, with their team color, blue. 118 High waited with anticipation and excitement as each student managed to display their school spirit by wearing the color red. Cheerleaders from both teams displayed their talent and skill by entertaining the crowd, heightening their excitement. The Red Falcons, 118 High's varsity team, waited patiently in their locker room.  
  
" Okay guys, this is it!" The coach said as he rounded them up in a huddle. The team's players listened intently to their coach. " I'm glad that Arnold & Derek would be able to join in the championship. Please remember this is a team. Don't think you could win this championship by yourself." The coach paused for awhile, taking one approving look at his team. He saw the intensity of passion within their eyes. He smiled to himself knowing that somehow, they'd win that championship.  
  
" On the count of three…" Arnold said, as members laid their hands on top of each other.  
  
" 1…2…3…WIN FALCONS, WIN!" The team shouted in all their might. Hearing the announcement of the mc, each team player went out of the locker room, ready to claim their victory.  
  
-*-  
  
The whole crowd cheered as the announcer called out each member of both teams. The gang shouted and cheered when they heard Gerald's and Arnold's name through the speaker. Gerald and Arnold grinned at each other as they heard the gang's very distinguished voices above the crowd. He looked at the gang and gave them a wave. But as he did, he noticed that Helga wasn't there. He shrugged it off, hoping that Helga was only late.  
  
He could feel energy running throughout his whole body. He was excited and more than ready to play the game, that would probably score him a scholarship at a good school. But his enthusiasm wasn't for long. He noticed Derek's face lighten up, when Derek looked past him, towards the gym door. Arnold turned around and saw Lila enter.  
  
He could almost feel his heart stop for awhile when Lila blew a kiss that at first it seemed that it was for him. Arnold suddenly remembered that she was looking at Derek. He looked at him and saw Derek catch the kiss that Lila blew for him, and placed it on his cheek. Arnold looked away with disgust.  
  
Did they really have to do that, in front of him?! Alright…no more Mr. Nice Guy…this is the time where in I will shine…say bye bye, Derek Peterson. Arnold said to himself, as the buzzer went off, indicating the start of the game.  
  
  
  
-*-  
  
The game was neck to neck after the first quarter. It scored 26 to 28 with Red Falcons in the lead. Arnold took sat on the bench, as he listened to the coach's instructions. For the first quarter, Arnold had been the one taking the team to its mark. It was alright for the rest of the team but for Derek it wasn't. It was obvious that during the game Arnold wouldn't pass the ball to Derek. Derek sat silent trying to control his frustration as the coach gave instructions.  
  
" Arnold, for the nth time, you have to pass the ball to Derek! I saw him awhile ago! He was totally free! You were blocked by two towering players from the other team! Why didn't you give it to him?!" The coach said exasperated with Arnold's indifference.  
  
" Coach, just as you said, there were two towering players guarding me. I wouldn't be able to see him would I? You can't just expect me to foolishly pass the ball to someone I can't see? Even if I did see him, I wouldn't be able to pass it to him, since I am blocked unfairly by two players. Derek's the one you should be blaming, Coach! He's the who's supposed to be blocking the player, not me." Arnold pointed out.  
  
" WHAT?" Derek fumed as he tried to hit Arnold. Luckily, the other team players were able to stop him. " Hey, it's not my fault that someone thinks he's the one man team!" Derek scowled.  
  
" Stop it…" The coach said trying to cool them down.  
  
" And it's not my fault that someone think he's so good in basketball, when he's actually not!"  
  
" Stop it, Arnold…" The coach said again.  
  
" You're saying that I'm not good in basketball?! Then why am I in this team, for crying out loud!?! You're the who's too big-headed to think that you're the only person who can win this game!" Derek said.  
  
" STOP IT! Do you want to this game or not?!" The coach exploded. Derek, Arnold, and the rest of the team were taken aback as they heard the coach's voice boom. All of them sat back quietly in their own seats. " Again, I have to remind you…this is a team. The trick to win this game, is teamwork! Nothing more, nothing less! Look at each other! All of you guys are important for you to be able to win this! If any of you don't feel like playing with any of your teammate, I'm not stopping you…you can leave the game if you want." The coach said.  
  
There was silence among the team. They looked at each other trying to determine if any one would seriously want to bail.  
  
" I'm sorry coach. Derek's right. I'm too bigheaded for this team. I can't play."  
  
" Arnold, don't do this, man!" Gerald exclaimed, hoping that his bestfriend would change his mind.  
  
" I'm sorry, Gerald." Arnold said, as he got his towel and water bottle and went out of the huddle, and out of the gym  
  
Arnold was too heated up too notice a worried girl watching him, as he stormed out of the gym.  
  
-*-  
  
Arnold sat on the bench of the locker room, trying to think if what he did was actually right. He really didn't intend to leave the game but his pride was at stake. Let's see if we will me now…with me out of the game…the first five will loose it's magic Arnold thought to himself. His thoughts drifted, remembering moments right before the game started. He could still clearly envision Lila walking in, with her long auburn hair moving gracefully with her, and her sweet smile that captured his heart even at the farthest distance. He scowled as he instantly remembered that Lila blew a kiss at Derek. He threw his towel hard against the locker. He threw it so hard that even if a towel hit it's doors, it actually sounded more like a box.  
  
" Arnold?"  
  
Arnold looked up, wondering whom the familiar voice was. He looked up and saw Lila standing there, looking worriedly at him.  
  
" Lila…" Arnold said, not knowing why Lila was there standing right before him.  
  
" Look, I saw what happened….why aren't you back in the game, Arnold? You know the team needs you…" Lila said as she slowly sat beside Arnold. Arnold could feel his tiny goose bumps crawling on his skin.  
  
" You wouldn't understand Lila. No, I don't think the team needs me…in fact, they're better off without me." Arnold said.  
  
" There goes your pride again, Arnold." Lila said. She said it in such a way, that Arnold was startled to hear that tone in her voice.  
  
" What are you talking about, Lila?"  
  
" What do you mean? We both know that the very reason you don't want to play, is because of Derek. I mean…COME ON, ARNOLD! Hasn't that been dealt with already? I mean, you can't let just petty fight get in the way of scholarship? Arnold, scouts are checking you out, and you are by far, the best out there! At least, you and Helga are sort of okay, why not you and Derek?"  
  
" Are you and Helga okay…?" Arnold ask…not knowing why he wanted to know about it.  
  
" Yes, we are. Helga's really a great friend…she understands… and we've said our sorries…and I guess we're okay. Although, sometimes I can't stand seeing her get hurt over you, Arnold. Can't you ever love her?"  
  
" I don't know, Lila…maybe I can…or can't…who knows? I mean there's college….who knows who we'd end up with? The truth is…there's still you Lila…" Arnold admitted.  
  
Lila took a deep breath. " You know, Arnold. I really flattered…but I told you…"  
  
" I know, I know, you don't have to tell me again. You don't love me…you love Derek. It's okay, Lila…really…it is."  
  
" If you really love me, Arnold…do me a favor…and settle things with Derek… please?" Lila pleaded. Arnold looked into her eyes. He knew that this was one of the most hardest things to do…to have to be friends with somebody that's loved by the very person you love. He gulped down his pride and nodded but deep down inside, he knew he had just died.  
  
" You going back in the game, or what? You don't want anyone else getting the scholarship do you? I know, I don't." Lila smiled.  
  
Arnold smiled faintly and nodded. Lila stood up.  
  
" You go watch the game, I'll be in the second half." Arnold managed to say, somehow he felt better.  
  
" Thanks Arnold." Lila said, as she gave Arnold a friendly kiss on the cheek, and walked out of the locker room…and probably of Arnold's life. 


	13. Acceptance

Chapter 13  
  
Gym doors opened as jubilant students of 118 High cheered their way out. All were in such a euphoric state, getting high by the fact that they had actually won. After Lila's talk with Arnold, Arnold went back in the second half and he managed to be civil with Derek. With their skills and teamwork, they managed to score 108 – 98.  
  
Gerald, Phoebe, Arnold, Sid, Rhonda, Nadine, Stinky, Harold, Curly, and even Derek and Lila, were all gathered in one big table, having their victory lunch at BarCode. This was one of the most sought after hangouts for teenagers, and almost everyone in their school was there.  
  
" Hey Pheebs, I'm just wondering…where is Helga?" Nadine asked.  
  
" Huh?…I don't know…I've been trying to call her…but nobody seems to be answering the phone…" Phoebe replied, as she absent-mindedly dialed Helga's landline on her cellphone. Putting her cellphone near her ear, she listened patiently as the phone rang on the other line.  
  
" Hello?" A girl on the other line said.  
  
" Helga? Is that you?" Phoebe said immediately.  
  
" No, Phoebe?…This is Miriam…I'm quite in a hurry right now…Helga's in the hospital. I have to go back to give her things."  
  
" Why…Mrs. Pataki…I don't get it?" Phoebe said as she felt her insides churning.  
  
" You know about her sickness, right?….Well…the antibiotics are of no use…she's getting worse, Phoebe. She collapsed this morning. I checked her temperature…and she was very hot. Please do pray for her…even though… I don't pray that much. I still need it." Miriam said worriedly.  
  
"Don't worry, Mrs. Pataki..I will…bye." Phoebe said, as she slowly put down the phone, disbelieving what she had just heard.  
  
" So, Pheebs! What's up with Helga?…And why do you suddenly look pale?" Stinky asked, as the gang wondered what was going on.  
  
" Guys, we need to go to the hospital, quick. Helga needs us, right now." Phoebe said.  
  
-*-  
  
The lingering of smell of disinfectants filled the hallway, as the gang waited in agony for the results. Silence reigned among them, looking worriedly at each other, anxiety gripping their throats.  
  
" I can't believe you didn't tell us, Pheebs…" Arnold said, looking troubled and shaken.  
  
" I'm….I'm sorry you guys…even if I wanted to…I made a promise to Helga…and I don't know…I just couldn't afford to break her promise….." Phoebe said apologetically.  
  
" It's okay, Phoebe…we probably just didn't see this coming…" Nadine said.  
  
Just then, Miriam, Big Bob, and Olga went out of the room. The eyes of Helga's friends pinned the three in concern as they waited to hear the results. Big Bob let out a sigh, as a tiny tear fell out from his eye. He couldn't speak and excused himself silently as he went to the hospital's chapel. Miriam excused herself and followed her husband. Olga was left to tell them the horrible news.  
  
" Helga's so….sick!…I don't know if she will last!" Olga said as she began to sob unbearably.  
  
" What did the doctors say, Olga?" Phoebe said, as she patted Olga's back trying to calm her down.  
  
" I…I don't know what happened!…I don't know…it's…just that…I knew she wasn't eating that much… I don't know why…and SHE'S SICK! For God's sake, her temperature went so high to a 58 degrees! She's burning back in there, Phoebe!…And…she couldn't even say a word! I'm telling you guys! I doubt it if you can take what you're about to see, that's not my sister in there! That's some weak girl! And my sister's not weak!" Olga said, sobbing. Arnold suddenly felt a pang of a guilt after hearing what Olga said. Somehow, he knew that he was partly the reason for it. He wanted to kill himself right then and there for having to treat her so badly.  
  
" I have to see her…" Phoebe said as she got up and slowly went in her room. All except one started to follow her into the room.  
  
" I'm going out." Arnold said monotonously as he got up, with such a blank expression and went away. Gerald knew he had to be there for his bestfriend so he followed him.  
  
-*-  
  
" Helga…" Phoebe said as she looked into her bestfriend's eyes. Olga was right that even she couldn't bear at the sight of her. She looked so weak and helpless. Helga looked at her and smiled.  
  
" I had to tell the gang, Helga…" Phoebe admitted. Helga's eyes looked at her friends, who surrounded the bed. Helga shook her head as hard as she could, as if she was mentally trying to get them out of her sight.  
  
" I'm sorry!…I'm so sorry!" Phoebe cried out. Rhonda comforted her immediately.  
  
" Helga…it's alright…we're your friends…you could tell us… " Nadine said.  
  
" Yeah, Helga. It's okay. There's nothing to be ashamed of." Harold said.  
  
Helga couldn't look. She stared into the vast outdoors as she looked at the window. Tears slowly fell down from her eyes.  
  
Helga opened her mouth, as she gathered the strength to say the thought, that's been bothering her since they arrived.  
  
" Does….Arnold know,…Phoebe?" Helga managed to say. Everyone looked at each other with amazement and uncertainty. Phoebe looked at her friends who can't seem to look at her straight in the eye. All of them didn't know what to say. They all new very well that Helga never wanted Arnold to find out.  
  
-*-  
  
Arnold walked out as fast as he could. He walked wherever his feet took him. He wound up on a white marble bench in the hospital's garden. He knew somehow it was his fault that Helga ended up like this. He was trying to overcome the extreme feeling of guilt as he took a deep breath.  
  
" Arnold?" Arnold looked up and saw the person calling out his name.  
  
" Come on man! You have to be there with, Helga! You know she needs to see you!" Gerald insisted as he sat beside him.  
  
" I can't ….I just can't…" Arnold shook his head as he said those words.  
  
Gerald kept silent. He had no idea how to persuade his bestfriend.  
  
" I just feel so cruel…I can't believe I was so cruel to Helga…I mean I can be already described as something inhuman!"  
  
" Don't blame yourself, Arnold! It's not your fault! I'm sure you know that, and I bet Helga knows that too! Knowing Helga, I know she takes responsibility for her own actions. She needs you, Arnold…"  
  
" What does she need me for? I mean…you guys are there….and I've done nothing but hurt her…"  
  
" I thought you guys are already friends?"  
  
" I know…but I still can't help but feel guilty, Gerald."  
  
" Because you know she loves you okay…and…nobody can't blame you for not loving her. She knows that Arnold…believe me, she's probably accepted it already. And it's the very reason that she loves you…that's why she needs to see you."  
  
Arnold hesitated for a moment. He knew of course, that every time he sees Helga, he knows that he'd stand as the painful reminder of Helga's first heartbreak. He already knew how that felt like when he experienced it with Lila. He knew it was the worst feeling in the world.  
  
But his bestfriend was right. He may not love her but he certainly cared for her as a friend. He took a deep breath and went back inside.  
  
-*-  
  
"Don't tell me…you told him…Phoebe…" Helga said with tears swelling up in her eyes, at it blurred her vision. Phoebe silently nodded in reply. Helga cried even harder. She took a deep breath and held back her tears.  
  
" You know…I'm too ugly right now…" Helga commented.  
  
" That's not true, Helga…you're pretty as ever…" Derek pointed out. The others nodded in agreement.  
  
"Oh, give me a break you guys!…I'm still the same old Helga…I don't like you throwing pity sessions at me…I know I'm ugly, I don't have make-up on…and I've probably lost a lot of weight than I should've…with this state…Arnold probably can't stomach seeing me."  
  
Phoebe felt her heart twitch. She knew that Helga was still trying to recover from what happened.  
  
" But, I need to see him…where is he?" Helga said as she looked at her friends expressions, looking at each other wondering for themselves where Arnold was. As if on cue, someone knocked on the door. After a while, Arnold stepped in looking worriedly at Helga. 


	14. The last time?

Chapter 14  
  
Arnold waited patiently, as his friends excused themselves and left the room. He was now alone with Helga. Helga smiled at the sight of him.  
  
" Hi football head!" Helga exclaimed trying to sound as energetic as possible.  
  
" Hi Helga…how…" Arnold started but paused in the middle of the sentence, knowing that asking how she was, was a very awkward question.  
  
" How am I? I'm feeling fine. In just a matter of days, I'll be back to normal! How was the game? I'm sorry I wasn't able to watch you squish the other team! I bet you won, huh?" Helga exclaimed, trying, as much as possible, to sound normal and healthy.  
  
Arnold nodded in reply. He didn't know how to react, seeing Helga like this. It really wasn't her and the guilt that he tried to wash away was coming back again. Helga could see the look of guilt and worry on his face but she refused to acknowledge it. Helga didn't want to be the type that was pitied upon.  
  
" You did?! That's great! I knew you guys could trample them! You guys went out after the game, didn't you? Aawww man! I missed another one of the gang's gatherings! When I'm out of the hospital, we'll eat out again, ok?! I can't wait, Arnold!" Helga exclaimed trying to sound as optimistic as possible.  
  
Arnold couldn't reply. The more optimism Helga showed, the more he felt guilty about everything. Trying to be oblivious, Helga continued with her optimism refusing to acknowledge Arnold's expression.  
  
" You have to thank me, Arnold! If I haven't taught you, you wouldn't stand a chance in those killer tests!" Helga smiled proudly at her accomplishment. Arnold smiled faintly.  
  
" Thanks Helga…" Arnold managed to say.  
  
" I hate this! I should've seen you guys! But I was so stupid to have forgotten taking those antibiotics! Imagine! There's so many pills on my desk that I can't even remember which ones for what! So you know what I do, I take all them!" Helga said trying to laugh at the whole situation.  
  
" Stop it Helga….just stop it." Arnold said.  
  
" Stop what…Arnold… I don't get you." Helga replied.  
  
" Stop acting like that! Like everything's so happy! And everything's going to be fine! I know you're not the type to show your true feelings or something…but the way you're acting?! It's killing me Helga! I know you know that you're not feeling to good!" Arnold exclaimed. Helga was astonished at the sudden outburst.  
  
" Well, gee Arnold…don't you remember. I did try to show my true feelings and all I got was a slap in the face."  
  
" I got the slap in the face, remember?" Arnold pointed out.  
  
" What I got was much more painful. I got rejection." Helga said trying to hide the hurt in her voice. There was silence in the room as both remembered that night, again.  
  
" I figured that maybe…if I tried to be happy…all of these sufferings will go away…coz that's what I tried to do, when I was hurt by you…and I survived through it…so who knows…the same theory of suppression may apply to this. I'll bet you a dollar, Arnold. If I try to sound happy, I know I'll feel better again." Helga said, returning to her false optimistic state.  
  
" There you go again, Helga! Stop it, okay! I want to know how you really feel!" Arnold exclaimed.  
  
Helga fell silent. " I know, Arnold….I'm going to die….I just know it…" Helga said as tears silently went down her cheeks. Arnold punched the wall that was next to him.  
  
" So…this is what it's all about…you feel guilty…because you think this is all your fault?…" Helga asked.  
  
" No….I don't know…I never wanted to cause you pain, Helga…and seeing you there…I don't know…it's just not right…"  
  
" Arnold…you don't have to blame yourself for all of this. I caused this upon myself. You don't have to worry about anything. I believe that's the reason for you looking so worried and guilty. You don't have too feel guilty Arnold….I don't need it…what I need right now…is someone…what you call a friend. I know you're one of them, Arnold." Helga said. Arnold's worried expression turned into a calm one as he sat on Helga's bed.  
  
" Thanks for understanding, Helga. "  
  
" Arnold, if ever…and I believe I will…you know die….."  
  
" No, Helga that's not gonna happen…." Arnold said trying to stop what she was gonna say.  
  
"Arnold…you and I both know that it will happen…maybe in a while…or after how many years, when I'm old…but still…please take care of my bestfriend for me, okay?…and take care of yourself as well. I hope you know I'll always love you…even if I know….that you don't…" Helga said smiling back at him.  
  
Arnold tried to remove the pang of guilt, as he smiled back.  
  
"Arnold…can you…close the blinds please…the sun's starting to hurt my eyes…." Helga said as her eyes started to close. Arnold got up and started to prevent the light from coming in. Just as he did, he heard a sound…the sound that at this time, he definitely didn't want to hear it.  
  
A long beep came from the machine that was connected to Helga. He turned around and saw Helga's eyes shut. 


	15. Remembering

Chapter 15  
  
Arnold sat silently on a marble bench. With the wind blowing his tresses of golden hair of his face. He's been sitting there…thinking and remembering what happened that day, when he heard that horrible sound that came from the machine that determined Helga's life. …..  
  
(flashback)  
  
  
  
The doctors came in rushing in, as he shouted for help. Frustration, helplessness, fear and anxiety drowned him as he watched the doctors earnestly fighting for Helga's life. Arnold stood there in a remote corner of the room, praying with all his heart, asking for help. Right then and there, he understood how much Helga meant to him. In that split second, where he watched with his own eyes, the person that he cared for so much lying there….lifeless.  
  
  
  
******  
  
Arnold's prayers were answered that day. Helga was saved. He couldn't forget the joy that he felt, when he saw Helga standing there. He smiled to himself, as he remembered that day that he hugged Helga with all his heart. Then he frowned slightly. It was also the first time that he was hurt by Helga….  
  
(flashback)  
  
" Hi Helga…" Arnold said, as he saw the beautiful vibrant girl, walking towards him. He had such a tough day but seeing Helga seemed to made the toughness vanish. His heart began to beat hard on his chest and he couldn't utter another word.  
  
" Hi, football head." Helga grinned as she noticed the dumbfounded boy standing in front of her.  
  
" ….hh….hi…" Arnold stuttered.  
  
" ….hh….hi….to you too football head. So what's so important you had to meet me here, after class?" Helga asked.  
  
Arnold instantly remembered, that day in the hospital. Since then, those realizations didn't stop hunting him. He knew he had to do something with his yearning feelings. He had planned well for this day. He rehearsed the way he'd say it, and how he was to say it, and where he was to say it. But, seeing her like that, made all his practices useless. At that moment, he wanted to tell Helga how really felt but he didn't know exactly how to begin.  
  
He wasn't exactly sure if Helga still had feelings for him but a large part of him expected that Helga still loved him. He was so sure of it not realizing that sometimes love can play you for a fool.  
  
" Well….I've been wanting to tell you something important…" Arnold started.  
  
" About what…?" Helga replied.  
  
" There's this girl…."  
  
" Let me guess, there's this certain girl that you like…so you like her so much that you want to tell her how you feel…and just don't know how to tell her. So you're here asking, what's the best way to tell someone how you really feel…am I right, Arnold?"  
  
Arnold simply nodded in reply. How did she know?! Arnold thought to himself.  
  
" Well, you just simply say it, Arnold. To avoid any confusion. Straight to the point. No side way stories. Just say it."  
  
" A….actually…I can't…I'm shy …what if she doesn't like me?….I'm scared…I might get hurt…again…I don't want that anymore…" Arnold explained.  
  
" Arnold! You never know?! What if she loves you too?! You can never be too sure. What's important is that you didn't hide what you truly feel!"  
  
" Okay…okay….I love you, Helga."…Arnold suddenly said. He held his breath for awhile, waiting for Helga's reply.  
  
" What did you say?" Helga asked, trying to make sure if she heard what she thought she heard.  
  
" I said…I love you…." Arnold repeated.  
  
Helga started shaking her head, as if trying to erase what had just happened. " No…no…Arnold. You have got to be kidding. This is a joke…isn't it….coz…if it's my turn to laugh…then um…ha ha ha…." Helga laughed nervously. She felt her knees shaking and turning into jelly.  
  
" I'm not kidding, Helga. I love you." Arnold said it again, this time, looking straightly into Helga's eyes.  
  
Helga couldn't take the sudden pressure that was bestowed upon her. She knew that if he said those three words one more time, she'd go crazy. Helga couldn't look back. Arnold pronounced those words, as if he trying to make Helga chose, instead of him just saying his feelings.  
  
" GOD, ARNOLD! You're such a bastard!" Helga exclaimed furiously.  
  
" WHAT?! What are you talking about?!" Arnold cried, wondering what caused Helga to react like this.  
  
" ugh…..wh…u….why……why did you say that, Arnold?! WHY?!" Helga let out. She simply can't understand and accept why Arnold had a sudden change of heart.  
  
" What do you mean 'why'? Because it's true! I realized it that day that you almost died in front of me, Helga! I realized how much sadness and the pain I'd feel if I lost you that day! Don't you believe me, Helga?!"  
  
"NO!" Helga spat back. " …Arnold! I hate you! You're turning me into some kind of tennis ball! You told me you don't love me okay! You told me that! And I let that get stuck in my head! I had it engraved in my memory that you don't! And I accepted that! Now, you tell me you do?! GOD! What are you!?!" Helga said in frustration.  
  
" I'm sorry! But I had to tell you, Helga! I know….that said that before but now…it's different! I do love you!"  
  
" And you're there expecting me that, I still do love you, don't you?! Arnold! Let's get this straight, Arnold. You're right…I still do! But don't you see it? What you're feeling isn't love! It's pure guilt! It really is! What you felt that day, when I was about to die in front of you, is guilt! You extremely felt sorry for me, that in my whole life, the person that I loved so much, didn't love me at all! You knew that was you, Arnold! You prayed that I'd live through that because you can't spend your whole life, feeling guilty for me!"  
  
Confusion ate Arnold's thoughts, as he heard Helga uttered those words. Hearing it hurt him so much, and somehow he didn't want to believe that what Helga was saying was true. He was so sure that he loved Helga.  
  
Helga quieted down for a while, with all her frustrations and emotions out.  
  
" Believe me, Arnold. I'm right. I know you're confused on what you feel but think about it. You were right from the start, Arnold. I know, we're better of being friends. It's less painful that way." Helga said, as she secretly tried to keep her tears, that was brimming at her eyes, from falling.  
  
" Is that all, Arnold?…" Helga asked, after minutes of awkward and painful silence. Arnold couldn't say a word, as if the pain in his heart paralyzed his tongue. He nodded in reply.  
  
Helga let out a sigh. " Trust me, Arnold. I have to go now." Helga said as she started walking away. " How could you say that, Arnold…I was already starting to get over you…." Helga thought to herself, as tears ran down her cheeks.  
  
Arnold watched her back, as she started to walk away. He couldn't hold it back any longer. Tears went down his cheeks.  
  
"Wait! Helga!" as he said it, Helga stopped walking but not turning around to face him. She stood there listening to what he was about to say. " I sure hope you're right Helga…if I really don't love you, then…I have one question to ask…where is this pain coming from?" Arnold asked, as tears rapidly fell down his cheeks.  
  
" I don't know, Arnold…I don't know…." Helga softly said, as she started walking away.  
  
  
  
*******  
  
  
  
(A/N: I hope you guys understood it…=) he'll back to reality again on the next chapter. R/R please=)) 


	16. Beyond death

Chapter 16  
  
He continued to sit there, lost in a world of his own, engulfing himself in bitter memories of the past. He winced as he remembered the day the he had lost her…  
  
(flashback)  
  
He was walking aimlessly on the school field, far away from the crowded gym, filled with students wearing tuxes and gowns. It pained him to see Helga enjoying herself in the crowd. He looked at her longingly waiting to be alone with her but it seemed so hopeless, as if Helga, herself, was the one running away from him. It was the final event for his senior year. Graduation was to come the following day. He punched the tree that was rooted near him.  
  
'It would probably be the last time that, I'll see her. Damn!' Arnold thought angrily. Helga still wouldn't believe him, even after Arnold persistently showed his feelings for her. Arnold was wrong. Helga did believe him but she didn't want to be hurt. She didn't want to fall in love anymore.  
  
" Arnold?"  
  
Arnold turned around and saw Helga standing there. He was tongue- tied. He stared with amazement at the intoxicating goddess that appeared before him. Helga's long golden hair, crowned with silver stars, swayed with the wind, covering her bare back. Her cream colored chiffon gown, accentuated her ivory skin.  
  
" What are you doing here, Helga? You're supposed to be in there. Who knows, you're going to be awarded queen?"  
  
" Well, let's see them try to crown me. I'd only want to be crowned queen, depending on the king." Helga grinned.  
  
" Who would you …want to be your King, Helga?" Arnold asked cautiously.  
  
" Of course, you, Arnold." Helga replied. Arnold, relieved with Helga's answer, smiled to himself.  
  
After minutes of satisfying silence, as if in it one tried to tell how much they loved each other, Helga repeated her question.  
  
" You didn't answer my question, Arnold. What are you doing here?"  
  
" Well…I just didn't seem up for it." … " I've been trying to get near you all night Helga..and…"  
  
" Well, I guess, you did a good job of doing that now, Arnold. I'm here standing right next to you."  
  
" Well….yeah….I guess…." Arnold grinned.  
  
" So, what do you want?"  
  
" Wh….what do you mean…what do I want?" Arnold asked nervously.  
  
" You said, you've been wanting to get near me the whole night. Now that I'm here, there must be a good reason for this, what do you want?" Helga asked.  
  
Arnold looked at the wonderful girl beside him, not realizing that he had been looking intently at her for quite a long time.  
  
" What ….are you staring at Arnold?"  
  
" Huh?" Arnold muttered, breaking from the trance.  
  
" You still haven't answered my question, Arnold. What do you.…."  
  
" This." Arnold said, not waiting to finish Helga's sentence.  
  
" What?"  
  
" This…standing next to you…being with you…talking to you….this." Arnold smiled contented.  
  
Helga blushed with Arnold's reply. "We….I…I thought…you would've wanted more…like …a….a dance perhaps?" Helga hinted. Arnold looked at her, surprised. Helga was right. Arnold had been longing for that one last meaningful dance the whole night.  
  
" a…d…dance?"  
  
" Well, Arnold, if you don't want it's okay….I might as well go back inside…" Helga said, as she started to walk away.  
  
" No! Helga!…You want it right here?"  
  
" Who cares, Arnold? It's you I'm gonna dance with right?" Helga smiled at the nervous young man that was standing right before her.  
  
" W…will…you have this dance with me….Helga?" Arnold said, nervously holding out his hand, for Helga to take.  
  
Helga smiled as she took Arnold's hands into hers. With Arnold's arms wrapped around her waist, and Helga's head leaning comfortably on Arnold's shoulder's, the dance, that was once a dream for both of them, was now a reality.  
  
******  
  
He was smiling at the thought…his last dance with Helga…his LAST chance. As soon as he remembered the horrible things after that wonderful evening, pain ate his heart as he ached once again with the memories.  
  
(flashback)  
  
" You can't tell me that that dance didn't mean anything Helga." Arnold argued persistently. It was moments before the commencement exercises were about to begin. The more that his high school life was coming to an end, the more he felt he'd lose her.  
  
" You remember, what I told you, when I started tutoring you, Arnold? Do you remember that?! Or did you just simply forget about it? I told you, Arnold. Don't fall in love with me!" Helga argued back.  
  
" Then, what was the dance for, Helga? Look me in the eye, and tell me that you don't have, not even a drop, of feelings for me." Arnold said, looking intently into Helga's eyes. Helga tried but she just couldn't say it.  
  
" You don't want to do this, Arnold. I told you, this is what's best for us."  
  
" So, you're just going to turn your heart into stone, huh?! You're just going delete it in your memory, like one would do in one's computer…just that easy, Helga?! Since when did you grow to be so cold?!"  
  
" I'm NOT cold! I'm not numb! I know how you feel and I know how I feel!"  
  
" Then, why are you doing this?! You're hurting yourself, you're hurting us! Why do you have to lie and deny what is explicitly there?!"  
  
" Because I want to Arnold! I don't want to take this risk again! You and I are just going to get hurt! I know you know that! After this, we're off to college! Who knows, what will happen?! I'm sorry Arnold, but sometimes, it's more easier and less painful to fall in love with someone that you know will stay…." Helga said, trying to hold back tears in her eyes.  
  
" Then, I will stay….I'll stay for you….Don't do this to yourself…know, that I've learned to love you…" Arnold said, trying to convince her. Just then, their conversation was interrupted with an announcement from Mr. Simmons. The ceremony was about to begin and all the students were requested to line up.  
  
"Here…I made this, when we were in ninth grade." Helga said, holding up a ring made out of a golden thread. Arnold couldn't understand what Helga was doing as Helga placed the ring on his finger. " I have one. I'll always be wearing this…and I hope you'll always be wearing your own. Wherever we are Arnold, you'll always be my friend." Helga said. Arnold looked at the ring, and held it tight.  
  
Helga let out a sigh. " You'll never understand, Arnold. You have to get this in your head, sooner or later…you know I'll be the person that won't stay. I'll be leaving you, Arnold. You know that." Helga said, finishing the conversation.  
  
" You're right, Helga…I can't understand at all…why can't you love me back?" Arnold thought to himself, trying to suppress the pain that was suffocating his heart.  
  
******  
  
Arnold never did understand what Helga meant by her leaving, until that day that he received a phone call from Phoebe. The moment that he heard Phoebe's weeping voice, he knew something was terribly wrong. He cried, again…after a long time of trying to be numb towards his feelings. On that marble bench, and on that day that he recalled all those memories he had with Helga, he let out his emotions.  
  
" I love you, Helga…." Arnold said, looking at the ring that he never took off his finger. He placed flowers upon her grave, flowers that were moistened with his own tears of love and pain. He got up and wiped the tears of his eyes. He started to walk away, oblivious to the angelic spirit of Helga, watching over him.  
  
" I love you too, Arnold." Helga's spirit whispered in his ear, as she walked side by side with him.  
  
THE END 


	17. just want to say thanks

A/N: ei guys! Sorry if this took such a long time. no this is not another chapter.just wanted to say thanks to all those who reviewed my story! I hope you'd try reading my other literary works Ü THANKS! And for all those who've seen this for the first time, I hope you enjoyed reading! Just wanted to still get reviews even this fic's been finished for two months now.Ü 


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